Minnesoooduh - Details

What up? Well, the trip was nearly a disaster but I didn't worry so everything worked out. First I found out on Friday that the booth I had shipped to arrive by Saturday wouldn't deliver until Monday - the day the conference started. Oh well, can't do anything about it at that point, right? THEN, Co-Worker whose Nickname is Yet to be Determined told me he hadn't ordered any brochures for us to hand out. He thought I said I was going to do it. NOT. Whatever, I actually had brought a few handouts with me that we could make copies of. Lucky for him. The Amazingly Annoying A. forced me into her cousin's 15 year old Honda Civic hatchback for an excruciating ride from the airport to the hotel. I tried and tried to tell her I could take a cab so she could visit with her cousin. Then I tried and tried to tell her cousin that I could get my own suitcase. You could definitely see the family resemblance in the way that neither of them listens to others.

On Monday morning I found out that the booth had been delayed and wouldn't be showing up until Tuesday... sometime. That was not acceptable to A., so we left her at the hotel to harrass the hotel employees and UPS while we went on to the conference center. We put out our handouts, the few brochures we had, and our product samples. It didn't look half-bad. About 30 minutes later, A. comes stumbling up, dragging the booth behind her.

**The last time I had the booth out, one of the wheels fell off while I was pulling it around. The wheel uses one of those hex screwdrivers, which no one at the office had. So I took the wheel home with me to match it up with a screwdriver that would fit. I brought the wheel and the screwdriver with me to Minneapolis. I'd planned to put the wheel back on when it was delivered to the hotel. But since A. had stayed behind to bitch at various people, she was the only one there when the booth miraculously showed up on time. So she had to drag this 52 pound booth down 3 city blocks on one wheel. HA HA HA.**

Even though the booth showed up on time and A. had absolutely nothing to do with that, she acted as if she had saved the day. Whatever. Then she started examining the handouts we'd put on our table. "I have some better handouts, should I make copies of those?" Shut up and die, I thought at her. In fact, I thought that a LOT over the next two days.

On Monday night we had dinner at the Mill Museum, which is just an old flour factory turned into a museum. It was alright. They had a really dumb elevator tour that just went up and down and up and down again while playing recordings of former mill workers. Bestest Friend/Co-Worker and I tried to get the bus driver to take us to Hooters instead of back to our hotel, but she wasn't going for it. So we started singing "Scotty Doesn't Know (Oh)" from Eurotrip.

On Tuesday morning I had breakfast in the hotel restaurant by myself. My waitier (Cesar) LOVED me. He brought me 2 free smoothies and then asked me where I was from and how was the weather. What a nice boy. BFCW and I sat at the booth all morning. A. showed up an hour late, then disappeared for 3 more hours. Then she wandered back to the booth for a few minutes. She mentioned something about making some copies and asked me if I would be okay at the booth by myself. I said, "I don't see why not, I've been here all morning." She totally didn't get the sarcasm. CWNYTBD said he would watch the booth for a while so I could get away and try to calm down. A. was annoying him, but he could see I was about to go postal. I walked around downtown Minneapolis for a while. Went to the park. Saw a squirrel and some crazy homeless people. Then I came back to the conference center.

Just in time for the big Fashion Show! They had dresses made out of phone books, plastic grocery bags, soda cans, etc. It was really lame. We took the booth apart and headed back to the hotel. Then we hopped on the train to the Mall of America.

**People of Minneapolis, we do not understand your public transit system. We all purchased a ticket to ride the train. But no one ever asked to see them and there were no gates we had to go through to exit the train. Everyone seemed to just be getting on and off without paying. So on the way back we didn't bother to buy tickets. And absolutely nothing happened to us. We got away with it. So why do you have ticket machines if the tickets are unnecessary? Is it a trick? A way to get money from gullible tourists?**

We had dinner at the Twin Cities Grill in the Mall. I had the walleye. It was pretty good. When we finished dinner we only had 30 minutes before the mall closed. 30 minutes to browse over 500 stores on 4 floors that cover 8 city blocks! It all worked out all right. I bought a Minnesota fridge magnet and some postcards.

Things I will always remember:
Spray tanning in Pittsburg, KS - what a great story!
Recycling Mascots of the World (Burros, Ferrets, Dogs, Cows)
Conference Attendee: "I'm sitting on a truckload of tupperware lids." Me: "That sounds uncomfortable."
BFCW (after finishing huge meal): "Holy F!"
Conference Booth Neighbor to me: "I'm writing a book. It's called How to Train Your Wife Like You Would Train a Dog. But it's respectful."
BFCW: "Stick it in your Pujols!"