Lexi's Victims: Ikea Kitty (ear pulled off), Squeaky Hedgehog (ear pulled off & part of face), Squeaky Bear (entire nose and face eaten), Ikea Weasel (ear and half of brain missing).
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I Don't Need One More Thing... I Need THIS!
It has begun. The relentless "What do you want for your birthday?" questioning. Since last weekend, Timmy has been constantly asking me. Sometimes he will try to work it into the conversation. Other times he will spring it on me like a sniper attack. Maybe he's hoping to catch me off my guard so I'll tell him what I really want. But I already told him - I already have everything I want. In fact, I have too much stuff.
Well, he won't quit. So I gave him this list of things I want for my birthday:
A spa day (including massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, etc.)
Psychic Reading
$10,000 to start a stock portfolio
Winning Lottery Ticket
Backyard Fence
Hardwood floor in living room (only room in house without it)
Trip to Caribbean/Europe/Australia
Professional house cleaning
Dog-sitter
More Bookshelves
Pink iPod (don't really need it, but they're neat)
Rob Thomas (not his cd, I want him)
Dinner at 220 Seafood on crab legs night
Working lightsaber
What do you think are the chances that I'll get any of these? I guess I'll go update my Amazon Wish list...
PS. How awesome would it be to have a lightsaber?
Well, he won't quit. So I gave him this list of things I want for my birthday:
A spa day (including massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, etc.)
Psychic Reading
$10,000 to start a stock portfolio
Winning Lottery Ticket
Backyard Fence
Hardwood floor in living room (only room in house without it)
Trip to Caribbean/Europe/Australia
Professional house cleaning
Dog-sitter
More Bookshelves
Pink iPod (don't really need it, but they're neat)
Rob Thomas (not his cd, I want him)
Dinner at 220 Seafood on crab legs night
Working lightsaber
What do you think are the chances that I'll get any of these? I guess I'll go update my Amazon Wish list...
PS. How awesome would it be to have a lightsaber?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Revenge of the Sith... Finally
How long has this movie been out? Seriously. We just went to see it yesterday. I don't think Timmy would EVER have gone, but I put my foot down. I wanted to see it in a theater.
I loved it! I think it was the best film of the Prequel Trilogy. And how hot was Darth Vader? I didn't care for Anakin in Attack of the Clones. Thought he was kind of dumb. But when he went all evil, with the flowing cape and the evil snarl, whewwwww! Then he had to get all burned by liquid hot magma and stuff. Oh well.
I wanted to add a few more comments now that I've had a few days to let it all sink in. Even though I loved the movie, there were some problems. The dialogue was terrible. Trite, cliched, and I recognized some of it from the original trilogy so basically George Lucas cannibalized his own previous films. And there were some huge plot holes. Okay, hide Luke from his father with ... his relatives!?! They didn't think he'd look there? (Apparently he did not, but still!) And that whole thing about how Anakin built C3PO (okay, so this was from previous films, but it still gets on my nerves). WHY??? What about how Anakin aged 10 years but Padme stayed the same? That still bothers and I know I'm nitpicking earlier films here.
That being said, I thought Hayden Christensen did a much better job as Anakin/DarthyPoo in Revenge of the Sith than in Attack of the Clones. Yoda was more believable. R2D2 was AWESOME. Overall, again, best film of the new trilogy.
I loved it! I think it was the best film of the Prequel Trilogy. And how hot was Darth Vader? I didn't care for Anakin in Attack of the Clones. Thought he was kind of dumb. But when he went all evil, with the flowing cape and the evil snarl, whewwwww! Then he had to get all burned by liquid hot magma and stuff. Oh well.
I wanted to add a few more comments now that I've had a few days to let it all sink in. Even though I loved the movie, there were some problems. The dialogue was terrible. Trite, cliched, and I recognized some of it from the original trilogy so basically George Lucas cannibalized his own previous films. And there were some huge plot holes. Okay, hide Luke from his father with ... his relatives!?! They didn't think he'd look there? (Apparently he did not, but still!) And that whole thing about how Anakin built C3PO (okay, so this was from previous films, but it still gets on my nerves). WHY??? What about how Anakin aged 10 years but Padme stayed the same? That still bothers and I know I'm nitpicking earlier films here.
That being said, I thought Hayden Christensen did a much better job as Anakin/DarthyPoo in Revenge of the Sith than in Attack of the Clones. Yoda was more believable. R2D2 was AWESOME. Overall, again, best film of the new trilogy.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Pup Pals
Well, I'm not sure what's changed but suddenly Pickles and Lexi are getting along. Either Pickles decided she wasn't going to be intimidated any more, or Lexi is feeling a little more comfortable and realizes that she has absolutely no reason to be afraid of Pickles. Any way, all day today they played and played and played. Then they took a nap. Then they played some more. Hooray!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Solid Gold Backyard Fence
"$5000?! What's it made out of - solid gold?"
That's what bestest friend/coworker said when I told her what the final price of our fence estimate was. I was expecting it to be $5-6000. But to actually see it in writing is still shocking.
We want to fence in the backyard for 3 reasons:
1. Neighbors directly behind us sit on their patio a LOT. And they face the back of our house. So we feel like whenever we are in the backyard, they are staring at us. So we never go in the backyard. We'd like to put in a patio and buy a barbecue. But we don't want them to be gawking at us while we try to enjoy our yard.
2. We'd like to be able to let the dogs run around without their leashes once in a while. Especially now that Pickles is fully housetrained, it would be great to just throw her outside, let her do her business, then let her back in.
3. A fence might keep some of the neighborhood cats out of our yard. We can dream anyway.
So the fence guy came out and measured and drew a diagram with all kinds of notations on it. Final price - $4990.00. And that's with him throwing in an extra gate "for free." Here's what his estimate included: 6 foot privacy fence across entire back of yard (110 ft.), 4 foot open-weave fence around remainder of yard (205 ft.), two walk-through gates, one 10 foot wide driveway gate. I think that is more fence than we really need. Here's what I think we need: 6 foot semi-private fence across most of back of yard (80 ft.) - can have some gaps in it, just as long as the neighbors are not clearly staring at us through it, 4 foot open-weave fence closing in backyard from inside of driveway to other end of yard (approx. 160 ft.), one (maybe two) walk-through gates. And that's it! Timmy and I guess the cost of materials from Lowe's would be just over $1000. Plus Timmy gets to build it. What fun!!!!!!
That's what bestest friend/coworker said when I told her what the final price of our fence estimate was. I was expecting it to be $5-6000. But to actually see it in writing is still shocking.
We want to fence in the backyard for 3 reasons:
1. Neighbors directly behind us sit on their patio a LOT. And they face the back of our house. So we feel like whenever we are in the backyard, they are staring at us. So we never go in the backyard. We'd like to put in a patio and buy a barbecue. But we don't want them to be gawking at us while we try to enjoy our yard.
2. We'd like to be able to let the dogs run around without their leashes once in a while. Especially now that Pickles is fully housetrained, it would be great to just throw her outside, let her do her business, then let her back in.
3. A fence might keep some of the neighborhood cats out of our yard. We can dream anyway.
So the fence guy came out and measured and drew a diagram with all kinds of notations on it. Final price - $4990.00. And that's with him throwing in an extra gate "for free." Here's what his estimate included: 6 foot privacy fence across entire back of yard (110 ft.), 4 foot open-weave fence around remainder of yard (205 ft.), two walk-through gates, one 10 foot wide driveway gate. I think that is more fence than we really need. Here's what I think we need: 6 foot semi-private fence across most of back of yard (80 ft.) - can have some gaps in it, just as long as the neighbors are not clearly staring at us through it, 4 foot open-weave fence closing in backyard from inside of driveway to other end of yard (approx. 160 ft.), one (maybe two) walk-through gates. And that's it! Timmy and I guess the cost of materials from Lowe's would be just over $1000. Plus Timmy gets to build it. What fun!!!!!!
New Puppy is a Bully
Well, we adopted that pug/beagle mix (Puggle). She's about 5-6 months old. We named her Lexi (because we got her in Lexington). Timmy wanted to name her Relish, you know, to go with Pickles. I said I hate that name think of something else. The lady we got her from said she was a stray that had been found with another dog. The other dog got adopted two weeks ago. She said the two dogs had gotten along fine, Lexi never showed any signs of aggression, and she is great with kids. So we thought Lexi and Pickles would make great companions.
We brought Lexi home on Saturday. Pickles was very excited to see her, but Lexi seemed indifferent to Pickles. Lexi seems to be somewhat housetrained and crate trained. She already knew Sit and Come. She hasn't shown much interest in any doggy toys but she will chew a piece of rawhide until it is gone. That is where the trouble started.
After Lexi had looked around the house and settled down a bit, we gave her a rawhide to chew on. Pickles was playing with her kitty toy nearby and accidentally bumped into Lexi. Lexi jumped up and violently snapped at Pickles. Poor spoiled Pickles had never had such a thing happen to her in her entire life. She got the most pathetic look on her face and slunk away, tail between her legs. Since then Pickles has given Lexi a WIDE berth. The few times Lexi has tried to play with Pickles (and by "play" I mean jump on her and bite her), Pickles just crouched down with a terrified look on her face.
Lexi immediately recognized that she can boss Pickles around and she hasn't stopped. Now she pushes herself between me and Pickles whenever we're walking. If Pickles is sitting on my lap Lexi will jump up and push Pickles out of the way. If Pickles is playing with a toy Lexi will walk up and take it from her. Pickles is miserable. Poor Pickle.
I'd always heard that the older and more established in the household dog would be the dominant one. But that is not the case here. Other than the two of them not getting along, we have no real problems with Lexi. She's a good dog. Very sweet. Gets along with the cats. Likes to sit on a lap and watch tv. Just hates Pickles Puglet. Which is kind of disappointing since we got the dog to be a companion to Pickles. We've decided to give it a few weeks and see if the situation improves. Lexi is going to be fixed soon, that should help tone down her aggression a little.
Ack.
We brought Lexi home on Saturday. Pickles was very excited to see her, but Lexi seemed indifferent to Pickles. Lexi seems to be somewhat housetrained and crate trained. She already knew Sit and Come. She hasn't shown much interest in any doggy toys but she will chew a piece of rawhide until it is gone. That is where the trouble started.
After Lexi had looked around the house and settled down a bit, we gave her a rawhide to chew on. Pickles was playing with her kitty toy nearby and accidentally bumped into Lexi. Lexi jumped up and violently snapped at Pickles. Poor spoiled Pickles had never had such a thing happen to her in her entire life. She got the most pathetic look on her face and slunk away, tail between her legs. Since then Pickles has given Lexi a WIDE berth. The few times Lexi has tried to play with Pickles (and by "play" I mean jump on her and bite her), Pickles just crouched down with a terrified look on her face.
Lexi immediately recognized that she can boss Pickles around and she hasn't stopped. Now she pushes herself between me and Pickles whenever we're walking. If Pickles is sitting on my lap Lexi will jump up and push Pickles out of the way. If Pickles is playing with a toy Lexi will walk up and take it from her. Pickles is miserable. Poor Pickle.
I'd always heard that the older and more established in the household dog would be the dominant one. But that is not the case here. Other than the two of them not getting along, we have no real problems with Lexi. She's a good dog. Very sweet. Gets along with the cats. Likes to sit on a lap and watch tv. Just hates Pickles Puglet. Which is kind of disappointing since we got the dog to be a companion to Pickles. We've decided to give it a few weeks and see if the situation improves. Lexi is going to be fixed soon, that should help tone down her aggression a little.
Ack.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Pug Armpits
Pickles Puglet has developed a heat rash under her arms. It was really hot and humid all last week. I noticed she kept scratching her armpits. So I looked and they were all red from where she had scratched them. Stupid puppy. I put some antibiotic ointment on them but that just made them worse - Note to self: don't put ointment on heat rash as it keeps the skin hot and moist. I picked up some diaper rash cream (with oatmeal!) when I was at Wal-mart and that has really helped. I put it on just before she went to bed and by morning her pits were almost normal looking. But I discovered if I don't keep washing and drying her pits and reapplying the cream whenever she gets all hot and sweaty, then she keeps scratching. So several times a day I have to clean her armpits and put diaper rash cream on them. They seem to be getting better now but she still has a few scabs from where she had scratched it so much before. Does this sound as ridiculous to ya'll as it does to me? Whatever works, right?
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Fins to the Left, People!
Timmy and I went to a Jimmy Buffett concert last night. As everyone knows, the real attraction isn't Jimmy Buffett. It's the party in the parking lot before the concert. There were fat men wearing coconut bras and grass skirts. Skinny girls wearing not much of anything. There was a middle-aged man riding a Segway people mover around the parking lot. Everyone had shark fins strapped to the top of their cars and portable toilets in the back of their trucks. The louder your Hawaiian shirt, the better. And everyone, EVERYONE, was stinking drunk. Except me and Timmy. We may have been the only sober people at the show.
The show was great. I wouldn't say I'm a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. I only know 3 of his songs (Margaritaville, Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw, and Cheeseburger in Paradise). But he puts on a good performance. He comes out on the stage in a tshirt, shorts and no shoes. He doesn't try to get the crowd "pumped up" or going crazy. He just plays his songs and has fun. It's nice.
Back to the drunks. Most people had several drinks, went to the show, had a good time and went home. But there was also a disturbingly large amount of people who got so trashed that they were stumbling, puking, and in some cases, passed out before the show even started. Funny, stupid, and kind of sad. What is wrong with these people?
Now, where did I leave that shaker of salt?
The show was great. I wouldn't say I'm a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. I only know 3 of his songs (Margaritaville, Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw, and Cheeseburger in Paradise). But he puts on a good performance. He comes out on the stage in a tshirt, shorts and no shoes. He doesn't try to get the crowd "pumped up" or going crazy. He just plays his songs and has fun. It's nice.
Back to the drunks. Most people had several drinks, went to the show, had a good time and went home. But there was also a disturbingly large amount of people who got so trashed that they were stumbling, puking, and in some cases, passed out before the show even started. Funny, stupid, and kind of sad. What is wrong with these people?
Now, where did I leave that shaker of salt?
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
I Have a Present-Buying Headache
Little Sister's birthday is on Saturday. I have no clue what to get her. The last few years we had a great arrangement. She'd buy herself something for her birthday, I'd buy myself something for mine, we'd say they were from each other and everyone got what they wanted and we were all happy. Not sure why that didn't happen this year.
My problem with buying presents for other people is that I always end up picking out stuff that I like. Then I want to keep it. I have trouble thinking of what other people might want. Especially stuff that's not books. I can find the perfect book for any person. Unfortunately a lot of people I know just aren't that into reading. What is wrong with them?
Sooo, I couldn't think of any one great big thing to buy Little Sister. Instead, I got her a bunch of smallish things that I think she'd like (I'd like them.) If she doesn't like them, I hope she lies and says she does.
Next: Father's Day. I have one small present I've been saving for a few months. Nothing special, but I think it's neat. And I made a photo cd with pictures from the house and the dog and the cats. It's kind of like a scrapbook for the computer. I put a lot of thought and time into it - he'd better appreciate it!
Next Next: Bestest Friend/Co-Worker has a birthday coming up. Last year for my birthday she stole a glass for me from our favorite bar. How am I going to top that?
My problem with buying presents for other people is that I always end up picking out stuff that I like. Then I want to keep it. I have trouble thinking of what other people might want. Especially stuff that's not books. I can find the perfect book for any person. Unfortunately a lot of people I know just aren't that into reading. What is wrong with them?
Sooo, I couldn't think of any one great big thing to buy Little Sister. Instead, I got her a bunch of smallish things that I think she'd like (I'd like them.) If she doesn't like them, I hope she lies and says she does.
Next: Father's Day. I have one small present I've been saving for a few months. Nothing special, but I think it's neat. And I made a photo cd with pictures from the house and the dog and the cats. It's kind of like a scrapbook for the computer. I put a lot of thought and time into it - he'd better appreciate it!
Next Next: Bestest Friend/Co-Worker has a birthday coming up. Last year for my birthday she stole a glass for me from our favorite bar. How am I going to top that?
Sunday, June 12, 2005
No More Kittens
Mystery Kitten and Fuzz Butt are now in their new homes. We purchased a cat trap. Mama Kitty has an appointment with the vet on Tuesday. All I have to do is convince her to go into the trap. Oh boy.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Dog of the Week
Pickles won her first blue ribbon last night at obedience class. Yay Pickles! We were practicing things that require the dogs to keep their attention on their owners, no matter what was going on around them. And that is the main reason I signed her up for the class in the first place. She's always been a good dog. She was extremely easy to housetrain and the only things she's ever chewed were pencils and pens that we left laying around. But she gets so excited when she meets new people that she just jumps up and down and runs around in circles and won't calm down. It's embarrassing to take her out in public. So anyway, last night at class we practiced Sit/Stay (she did okay but kept laying down instead of continuing to Sit), Down/Stay (great because she really wanted to lay down anyway), Heel (getting better but did wander off once and jumped up for the treat a few times), and Watch Me. Watch Me is where she really excelled. We did 3 Watch Me exercises. In the first one, the dogs had to keep their attention on their owner while another dog walked right past them. Then, we did an exercise where the trainer came up to each owner and shook their hand, while the dog sat quietly with its attention on the owner. Lastly, two owners with their dogs walked up to each other, shook hands, and kept walking, all while the dogs kept their attentions on their owners. Pickles did PERFECTLY at all three. Didn't even take her eyes off me. What a good girl! She totally deserved that award. Next week is the last class. They mentioned something about bobbing for hot dogs. Should be fun.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
I Saw a Moose... Really!
Back from still yet another recycling conference, this one in New Hampshire. This is how it went down...
Early Sunday morning I headed for the airport. I stopped and got coffee and a jelly donut on the way there. I had just thought to myself, "it sure would be funny if jelly were to spurt out of this raspberry donut and land on my shirt," when, mid-bite into said donut, a big spurt of raspberry jelly shot out and landed all down my shirt. Ahhhhhh! I love that shirt! Plus, how embarrassing for me to have to walk through the airport with a giant raspberry blob all down my front. Luckily I had a light jacket with me. I put it on and zipped up, never mind that it was 90 degrees outside. After checking in I bought a Cherry Blossoms of Washington DC shirt for 8 dollars which I changed into.
Now, NH is A.'s territory and I just went to this show to help her out. Lord knows she needs all the help she can get. Remember how she couldn’t be bothered to pick me up at the airport during the NY show? Well, she did it to me again. At least she got one of her suppliers to pick me up and take me to the hotel, an 80 mile drive. I’d met Stheve at the NY show. And last week when he came to the office for a plant tour I went out to lunch with them. So it’s not like he was a total stranger. But it was still a little awkward. Anyway, my flight from Dulles had left at noon so I hadn’t eaten lunch yet. I figured I’d get something from the hotel restaurant or maybe even order room service.
Stheve dropped me off at my hotel (he was staying at the one next door) just before 4. By this time I was STARVING. And the hotel didn’t have a restaurant. CRAP! I got 3 different kinds of chips and a root beer out of the vending machine. The hotel was okay. It was actually a ski lodge but June is the off-season. I decided at 5 to go over to the conference center and see what was up.
I haven’t mentioned where A. was all this time. She was meant to have left Virginia on Saturday afternoon since she was driving up to NH. Well, Saturday night she called me and left a message that she was getting a late start since her dog had to be taken to the emergency vet. I talked to her again on Sunday after I had landed. She said she probably wouldn’t make it to the hotel until maybe 7 so could I just make sure all our boxes had arrived?
It appeared that all the boxes were there. I decided to go ahead and put the booth together myself, since I was already cranky and I knew I wouldn’t feel like doing it at 7 am the next morning. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Then I got cleaned up and went to the exhibitor reception that was being held next door. FREE BEER! Stheve was the only person I knew there, so I got stuck talking to him for a while. Fortunately I struck up a conversation with a very nice Canadian lady whose name I don’t know. Stheve came back at 9 to say he was going to find some dinner, did I want to go? Hell yeah I want to go. All I’ve had to eat all day was half a jelly donut and three snack-sized bags of chips. A very large guy from Maine joined us. As we were driving down the road, Stheve suddenly slowed then stopped the car. "What’s that?" he said. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a moose! A MOOSE! It stepped out into the road and looked at us. Stheve flashed his high beams at it. The moose slowly crossed the road and wandered off into the woods. Wow. My first moose sighting. And I was so stunned that I forgot to take a freaking picture.
We found a tavern that was still open just down the road. I think Stheve must have called A. about 5 times. First he called her from the reception to find out how far away she was. Then he called her to tell her that we were going to eat. Then he called to tell her to watch out for moose in the road. Then he called to tell her where we eating. Ack! I should have known the food wasn’t going to be very good from the menu. There must have been over 50 entrées listed. Not a good sign. It was about as good as I expected. Just as we were finishing dinner, A. shows up – with her mother! She sat down and for nearly 2 hours told us why she was late and what was wrong with the dog and why she has brought a 5 week old kitten with her, which she intended to smuggle into her hotel room. I finally got back to my room at 11:30.
The conference started at 8:30 Monday morning. On my way to find some breakfast I ran into Mike Wazowski (not his real name). We met at the Michigan recycling conference a few months ago. He was at the same table as me and bestest friend/coworker at dinner one night. I remember he seemed a bit shy, but that could have been because BFCW and I were drunk and loud and he was sober because he had to drive home that night. Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes then I went back to our booth. Mike Wazowski stopped by several times during the day. I think he was bored. Lord knows I was. The thing about these conferences is the exhibit hall is open all day but there are meetings that the attendees are... well, attending. So really the only times there are people visiting the booths is during breaks or meals. Most of the day the exhibitors just sit there staring at each other.
Lunch was terrible. Some kind of tofu salad and a lasagna with sausage. A.’s mother hung around all afternoon asking me questions like, "Who drives the Mobil race car?" (Like I’d know) and "Do you think they’ll have strawberry shortcake for dessert?" (????) Mike Wazowski invited me to a sports bar nearby to watch the Pistons basketball game and drink beers. I don’t really care for basketball, but I do enjoy drinking beers. Unfortunately Monday night was supposed to be the big "Dinner and Dancing" event of the conference. I told him I’d see what was going on with that, then give him a call. After the exhibit hall shut down at 5, I took a quick walk to the Town Center. It was just a few little shops and restaurants for the ski resort. Most of them were closed because June is in fact, NOT prime ski season. I went back to my room and watched reruns of Angel and Charmed, then went to A.’s room. She was of course, not ready. Finally we all set out for Dinner and Dancing.
Everyone was there, having a pre-dinner drink. A. said she’d get us all drinks. I said, "great, get me a beer, I don’t care what kind." She went up to the bar and started talking to someone. 15 minutes later she came back, "These are the beers they have," and listed all the beers. I said I didn’t care just get me a beer. Her mother said she wanted a white wine. So A. goes back to the bar. 5 minutes later she comes back. "You know, they don’t have a very good beer selection, maybe you’d like a mixed drink?" I said no, just get me a beer. I chose Blue Moon because she wasn’t going to take just "beer" for an answer. Her mother decided to get a Guinness. A. goes back to the bar. 5 minutes later she comes back. "Hey mom, they’ve got Amstel Light, would you rather have that?" A.’s mom decided to have Amstel Light. "Jen, I had Blue Moon once and I don’t think I liked it, mom, did we like that Blue Moon beer?" I said I’d try it anyway, thank you very much. A. went BACK to the bar and started talking to some guy. 10 minutes later she came back with 3 beers and the guy. He was 50ish and very very tan. He followed us to dinner and sat next to me, telling me how I should avoid getting a reverse mortgage unless I have a really good lawyer. Thanks buddy, I’ll keep that in mind. Dinner was awful. Dry chicken and rice with some weird flavoring and carrots. I don’t much like carrots on a good day. The only carrots I really like are the ones at Cracker Barrel. I don’t know what they do to the carrots there, but they are delicious! But I digress. Very Very Tan Guy heard that I was flying out of Manchester, NH the next day and generously offered to drop me off at the airport, since he was going right past there. I said no thank you. Weirdo.
After dinner I’d had enough of A. and her mother and VVTG, who looked like he was there to stay. I called Mike Wazowski to see what he was up to. He said he was back in his room because the sports bar was closing but he had a six pack if I wanted to watch the game there. I politely declined. I’m just not that into basketball. Sorry. I went back to my room and turned on the tv. Wouldn’t you know it, The Ring was on. Ahhhh! Too scary. So I turned off the tv and started reading Memoirs of a Geisha. It turned out to be really good. So good in fact that I stayed up til 1:30 reading it.
Tuesday morning A. told me that she ended dancing with VVTG all evening. So glad I wasn’t there. We give away stress balls at our booth that say something stupid like "Take the stress out of recycling" and have our number on them. I was excruciatingly bored at this point so I wrote on one of the stress balls "You win a FREE KITTEN!" and put it on the table with the others. I figured it wouldn’t hurt, since A. and I both have kittens we are trying to find homes for. I actually had two different people pick up that ball, read it and then put it back. One of them I told, "Wait here while I go get your prize!" but he laughed and ran away. Oh well.
Mike Wazowski and I went to lunch and hid in a corner from A. and her mother but they found us anyway. Lunch was, predictably, crap. After lunch we went back to the exhibit hall and started putting things away. A. had brought so much crap with her! She had two boxes that we didn’t even open! I helped her put all the brochures back in the boxes then she said something about getting shipping labels and wandered off. I figured, well, I put this booth together myself I can take it apart too! So I did. It took me 30 minutes. She didn’t come back until at least 15 minutes after I was done. Where the hell was she all that time? We ended up leaving the conference center after 3 (we were supposed to be out by 2:30) and went to the hotel. A. still hadn’t checked out. I waited in the lobby with my book while she packed up. We left at 4:15. I got to the airport at 6 for my 7 o’clock flight. And then I came home.
Early Sunday morning I headed for the airport. I stopped and got coffee and a jelly donut on the way there. I had just thought to myself, "it sure would be funny if jelly were to spurt out of this raspberry donut and land on my shirt," when, mid-bite into said donut, a big spurt of raspberry jelly shot out and landed all down my shirt. Ahhhhhh! I love that shirt! Plus, how embarrassing for me to have to walk through the airport with a giant raspberry blob all down my front. Luckily I had a light jacket with me. I put it on and zipped up, never mind that it was 90 degrees outside. After checking in I bought a Cherry Blossoms of Washington DC shirt for 8 dollars which I changed into.
Now, NH is A.'s territory and I just went to this show to help her out. Lord knows she needs all the help she can get. Remember how she couldn’t be bothered to pick me up at the airport during the NY show? Well, she did it to me again. At least she got one of her suppliers to pick me up and take me to the hotel, an 80 mile drive. I’d met Stheve at the NY show. And last week when he came to the office for a plant tour I went out to lunch with them. So it’s not like he was a total stranger. But it was still a little awkward. Anyway, my flight from Dulles had left at noon so I hadn’t eaten lunch yet. I figured I’d get something from the hotel restaurant or maybe even order room service.
Stheve dropped me off at my hotel (he was staying at the one next door) just before 4. By this time I was STARVING. And the hotel didn’t have a restaurant. CRAP! I got 3 different kinds of chips and a root beer out of the vending machine. The hotel was okay. It was actually a ski lodge but June is the off-season. I decided at 5 to go over to the conference center and see what was up.
I haven’t mentioned where A. was all this time. She was meant to have left Virginia on Saturday afternoon since she was driving up to NH. Well, Saturday night she called me and left a message that she was getting a late start since her dog had to be taken to the emergency vet. I talked to her again on Sunday after I had landed. She said she probably wouldn’t make it to the hotel until maybe 7 so could I just make sure all our boxes had arrived?
It appeared that all the boxes were there. I decided to go ahead and put the booth together myself, since I was already cranky and I knew I wouldn’t feel like doing it at 7 am the next morning. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Then I got cleaned up and went to the exhibitor reception that was being held next door. FREE BEER! Stheve was the only person I knew there, so I got stuck talking to him for a while. Fortunately I struck up a conversation with a very nice Canadian lady whose name I don’t know. Stheve came back at 9 to say he was going to find some dinner, did I want to go? Hell yeah I want to go. All I’ve had to eat all day was half a jelly donut and three snack-sized bags of chips. A very large guy from Maine joined us. As we were driving down the road, Stheve suddenly slowed then stopped the car. "What’s that?" he said. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a moose! A MOOSE! It stepped out into the road and looked at us. Stheve flashed his high beams at it. The moose slowly crossed the road and wandered off into the woods. Wow. My first moose sighting. And I was so stunned that I forgot to take a freaking picture.
We found a tavern that was still open just down the road. I think Stheve must have called A. about 5 times. First he called her from the reception to find out how far away she was. Then he called her to tell her that we were going to eat. Then he called to tell her to watch out for moose in the road. Then he called to tell her where we eating. Ack! I should have known the food wasn’t going to be very good from the menu. There must have been over 50 entrées listed. Not a good sign. It was about as good as I expected. Just as we were finishing dinner, A. shows up – with her mother! She sat down and for nearly 2 hours told us why she was late and what was wrong with the dog and why she has brought a 5 week old kitten with her, which she intended to smuggle into her hotel room. I finally got back to my room at 11:30.
The conference started at 8:30 Monday morning. On my way to find some breakfast I ran into Mike Wazowski (not his real name). We met at the Michigan recycling conference a few months ago. He was at the same table as me and bestest friend/coworker at dinner one night. I remember he seemed a bit shy, but that could have been because BFCW and I were drunk and loud and he was sober because he had to drive home that night. Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes then I went back to our booth. Mike Wazowski stopped by several times during the day. I think he was bored. Lord knows I was. The thing about these conferences is the exhibit hall is open all day but there are meetings that the attendees are... well, attending. So really the only times there are people visiting the booths is during breaks or meals. Most of the day the exhibitors just sit there staring at each other.
Lunch was terrible. Some kind of tofu salad and a lasagna with sausage. A.’s mother hung around all afternoon asking me questions like, "Who drives the Mobil race car?" (Like I’d know) and "Do you think they’ll have strawberry shortcake for dessert?" (????) Mike Wazowski invited me to a sports bar nearby to watch the Pistons basketball game and drink beers. I don’t really care for basketball, but I do enjoy drinking beers. Unfortunately Monday night was supposed to be the big "Dinner and Dancing" event of the conference. I told him I’d see what was going on with that, then give him a call. After the exhibit hall shut down at 5, I took a quick walk to the Town Center. It was just a few little shops and restaurants for the ski resort. Most of them were closed because June is in fact, NOT prime ski season. I went back to my room and watched reruns of Angel and Charmed, then went to A.’s room. She was of course, not ready. Finally we all set out for Dinner and Dancing.
Everyone was there, having a pre-dinner drink. A. said she’d get us all drinks. I said, "great, get me a beer, I don’t care what kind." She went up to the bar and started talking to someone. 15 minutes later she came back, "These are the beers they have," and listed all the beers. I said I didn’t care just get me a beer. Her mother said she wanted a white wine. So A. goes back to the bar. 5 minutes later she comes back. "You know, they don’t have a very good beer selection, maybe you’d like a mixed drink?" I said no, just get me a beer. I chose Blue Moon because she wasn’t going to take just "beer" for an answer. Her mother decided to get a Guinness. A. goes back to the bar. 5 minutes later she comes back. "Hey mom, they’ve got Amstel Light, would you rather have that?" A.’s mom decided to have Amstel Light. "Jen, I had Blue Moon once and I don’t think I liked it, mom, did we like that Blue Moon beer?" I said I’d try it anyway, thank you very much. A. went BACK to the bar and started talking to some guy. 10 minutes later she came back with 3 beers and the guy. He was 50ish and very very tan. He followed us to dinner and sat next to me, telling me how I should avoid getting a reverse mortgage unless I have a really good lawyer. Thanks buddy, I’ll keep that in mind. Dinner was awful. Dry chicken and rice with some weird flavoring and carrots. I don’t much like carrots on a good day. The only carrots I really like are the ones at Cracker Barrel. I don’t know what they do to the carrots there, but they are delicious! But I digress. Very Very Tan Guy heard that I was flying out of Manchester, NH the next day and generously offered to drop me off at the airport, since he was going right past there. I said no thank you. Weirdo.
After dinner I’d had enough of A. and her mother and VVTG, who looked like he was there to stay. I called Mike Wazowski to see what he was up to. He said he was back in his room because the sports bar was closing but he had a six pack if I wanted to watch the game there. I politely declined. I’m just not that into basketball. Sorry. I went back to my room and turned on the tv. Wouldn’t you know it, The Ring was on. Ahhhh! Too scary. So I turned off the tv and started reading Memoirs of a Geisha. It turned out to be really good. So good in fact that I stayed up til 1:30 reading it.
Tuesday morning A. told me that she ended dancing with VVTG all evening. So glad I wasn’t there. We give away stress balls at our booth that say something stupid like "Take the stress out of recycling" and have our number on them. I was excruciatingly bored at this point so I wrote on one of the stress balls "You win a FREE KITTEN!" and put it on the table with the others. I figured it wouldn’t hurt, since A. and I both have kittens we are trying to find homes for. I actually had two different people pick up that ball, read it and then put it back. One of them I told, "Wait here while I go get your prize!" but he laughed and ran away. Oh well.
Mike Wazowski and I went to lunch and hid in a corner from A. and her mother but they found us anyway. Lunch was, predictably, crap. After lunch we went back to the exhibit hall and started putting things away. A. had brought so much crap with her! She had two boxes that we didn’t even open! I helped her put all the brochures back in the boxes then she said something about getting shipping labels and wandered off. I figured, well, I put this booth together myself I can take it apart too! So I did. It took me 30 minutes. She didn’t come back until at least 15 minutes after I was done. Where the hell was she all that time? We ended up leaving the conference center after 3 (we were supposed to be out by 2:30) and went to the hotel. A. still hadn’t checked out. I waited in the lobby with my book while she packed up. We left at 4:15. I got to the airport at 6 for my 7 o’clock flight. And then I came home.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Bird Trapped in Furnace
Last night I went down to the basement to put the sofa cover in the washing machine. Pickles had been standing on the back of the couch when she decided to vomit her entire dinner all the way down the front of the couch. Yechhht. So anyway, I flipped on the light and was messing around with the detergent when I heard a scratching noise coming from somewhere in the room. I got very quiet and still and heard it again. It sounded like it was coming from the duct work along the ceiling. I went upstairs and got Timmy to come listen to it.
Timmy took one listen and immediately announced "There's a bird in the flue." About two months ago there was a big wind storm that blew one of the chimney caps off the top of the house and Timmy hasn't gotten around to putting it back on yet. And now a bird has managed to fly down into our furnace. I said, "What do we do?" Timmy "Turn on the furnace!" I said "Ewwww, no." Can you imagine the smell? Not to mention that it's just WRONG.
Luckily the bird was stuck right at the place in the duct where there is kind of an access hole. We could see it in there just flapping and flapping. We gathered our bird rescue gear together: a flashlight, a heavy glove for Timmy, a large trash bag to hopefully entice the bird into, and the digital camera. I had to record this event for posterity, right?
The next several minutes were just like an episode of Animal Cops Houston. Perhaps I should call Chief Investigator Jim Boller and ask him for a job? First we put the trash bag over the hole and banged on the side of the duct, hoping the bird would fly out and into the bag. This didn't work. Timmy bravely put his gloved hand into the hole and tried to pull the bird out. That's when we discovered the bird had one of his little birdie feet caught in a groove in the duct. He went to get a pair of pliers. Using the pliers he very carefully bent the duct and freed the bird's leg. The bird, surprised at being suddenly free, fell to the bottom of the duct. Timmy left again to get a screwdriver. He came back and proceeded to undo the screws that held the duct to the furnace. The bird finally came out after we had banged on the top of the duct a few times. It just fell right out onto the floor. (During this entire chain of events I, of course, was standing several feet away holding the flashlight helpfully and covering my head and face with a heavy blanket...I don't want to get pecked in the head by a psycho bird!)
Timmy picked the bird up (in his gloved hand!) and we took it outside. At first, I think it was still in a bit of shock because it just sat there on the ground. But then it took off and flew away. Hooray!
Timmy took one listen and immediately announced "There's a bird in the flue." About two months ago there was a big wind storm that blew one of the chimney caps off the top of the house and Timmy hasn't gotten around to putting it back on yet. And now a bird has managed to fly down into our furnace. I said, "What do we do?" Timmy "Turn on the furnace!" I said "Ewwww, no." Can you imagine the smell? Not to mention that it's just WRONG.
Luckily the bird was stuck right at the place in the duct where there is kind of an access hole. We could see it in there just flapping and flapping. We gathered our bird rescue gear together: a flashlight, a heavy glove for Timmy, a large trash bag to hopefully entice the bird into, and the digital camera. I had to record this event for posterity, right?
The next several minutes were just like an episode of Animal Cops Houston. Perhaps I should call Chief Investigator Jim Boller and ask him for a job? First we put the trash bag over the hole and banged on the side of the duct, hoping the bird would fly out and into the bag. This didn't work. Timmy bravely put his gloved hand into the hole and tried to pull the bird out. That's when we discovered the bird had one of his little birdie feet caught in a groove in the duct. He went to get a pair of pliers. Using the pliers he very carefully bent the duct and freed the bird's leg. The bird, surprised at being suddenly free, fell to the bottom of the duct. Timmy left again to get a screwdriver. He came back and proceeded to undo the screws that held the duct to the furnace. The bird finally came out after we had banged on the top of the duct a few times. It just fell right out onto the floor. (During this entire chain of events I, of course, was standing several feet away holding the flashlight helpfully and covering my head and face with a heavy blanket...I don't want to get pecked in the head by a psycho bird!)
Timmy picked the bird up (in his gloved hand!) and we took it outside. At first, I think it was still in a bit of shock because it just sat there on the ground. But then it took off and flew away. Hooray!
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