Lexi is a Little Devil and Pickles is a Little Stinker (skunk).
Then we put last year's Pumpkin costume on Lexi. She looks more like a carrot.
Here's Pickles in a pretty pretty princess costume.
Happy Halloween everybody!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Happy Halloween
We had a costume fitting last week so I could make sure everything was going to fit alright.
Lexi is a Little Devil and Pickles is a Little Stinker (skunk).
Then we put last year's Pumpkin costume on Lexi. She looks more like a carrot.
Here's Pickles in a pretty pretty princess costume.
Happy Halloween everybody!!!
Lexi is a Little Devil and Pickles is a Little Stinker (skunk).
Then we put last year's Pumpkin costume on Lexi. She looks more like a carrot.
Here's Pickles in a pretty pretty princess costume.
Happy Halloween everybody!!!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Things That Should Not Be Allowed
1. Snow in October. What the krunk?
2. Patrick Dempsey still hasn't called me.
3. We didn't win the lottery AGAIN.
4. Stupid people.
PS. I'm going to Canada next week. With my new boss who is kind of a goober. Oh joy.
2. Patrick Dempsey still hasn't called me.
3. We didn't win the lottery AGAIN.
4. Stupid people.
PS. I'm going to Canada next week. With my new boss who is kind of a goober. Oh joy.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Cruise Log: Day Seven
Home Again, Home Again, Ah Crap
Saturday morning we had breakfast with an old couple. They were funny. The woman said that one time she’d left her nightgown on the bed when she went to dinner. When she got back, the cabin steward had made a towel animal out of it! (She didn’t say which animal.) As we were wandering around the ship we noticed a water spout out in the sea to the right of the ship. Neato.
I’d made an appointment for a manicure and pedicure at 9:30. Here’s another cruise tip: everything costs more at the beginning of the cruise. By the end of the cruise, they really start discounting things in the souvenir shops and the spa. So wait until the last day or two to buy stuff on the ship. Anyway, Tanya was my “nail technician.” She wasn’t a talker, which was awesome. I hate trying to think of things to say to someone while they are scraping my feet. It’s just awkward. The girl working next to Tanya WAS a talker. She said that the reason she was working on a cruise ship was so she could save up money for a nose job. Her nose was perfectly fine! What the hell is wrong with people?
We went up to the pool area and the sun was actually out, so we ran back to the room to put our bathing suits on. We sat out in the sun for about 20 minutes when suddenly a dark rain cloud appeared out of nowhere. Poop. We went back inside and started packing up all our crap. Then we had lunch and some drinks (The Ultimate Suntan: rum, creme de banana, blackberry brandy, orange juice and sweet & sour mix.) I fell asleep (again) in a deck chair. I may have snored again but I did NOT drool this time.
Back to the room to dress for dinner. I had Seafood Newberg and Timmy had the Beef Wellington. The waiters sang the Carnival song, which I don’t know, then Hector jumped on a table and started dancing. Other waiters joined him on tables around the room. We said bye to Wilfer and Jorge and went back to the room to finish packing. No towel animal tonight. I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t get a stingray. And Timmy really wanted a monkey. Oh well. We put our suitcases out in the hall to be picked up by the stewards and went to bed.
Sunday morning Timmy and I woke up in a bad mood. We’d been up late with the packing and filling out customs forms, plus we both had slightly sore throats. I think Dana the cruise director gave us his cold. Bastard. We were hanging out in our cabin after breakfast (because we still had about 30 minutes until we had to be in our designated departure waiting area) when Archie knocked on the door and told us we had to leave. How rude! We went to the cigar bar to wait until we could get off the ship. Whose bright idea was it to have us wait in the cigar bar? Of course, people are going to smoke in there. It’s a cigar bar. Sheesh. We finally lined up to exit the ship. An EXTREMELY impatient woman who was at least 4 people behind us in the line kept running up and looking around Timmy. After the 6th time she had bumped him, he started swearing at her just barely under his breath. I just full-on turned around and gave her a dirty look, then said loudly to myself “No one is getting out of here any faster than anyone else, you know.”
Even though it was a hassle, debarking the ship went pretty smoothly. We filed off the boat and into the terminal where our luggage was waiting. Finding all our luggage took a while. We carried it through customs and we were out! And immediately 700 cab drivers started hassling us. Luckily there was a Carnival representative standing right at the door so I was able to ask her where our bus was. And check this – the bus driver didn’t even ask for our ticket or proof of payment. He just put our luggage in the bus and told us to get on. The rest of the trip home was pretty tame. There were some annoyances with the baggage scanning people and I got really cranky while searching for the United check-in counter, but other than that it was fine. I’ve already told ya’ll about the bastard airport bus driver at Dulles. And that’s the end of our cruise story.
The puppies were very excited to see us. Tim’s mother SWEARS they didn’t “go” in the house once.
Saturday morning we had breakfast with an old couple. They were funny. The woman said that one time she’d left her nightgown on the bed when she went to dinner. When she got back, the cabin steward had made a towel animal out of it! (She didn’t say which animal.) As we were wandering around the ship we noticed a water spout out in the sea to the right of the ship. Neato.
I’d made an appointment for a manicure and pedicure at 9:30. Here’s another cruise tip: everything costs more at the beginning of the cruise. By the end of the cruise, they really start discounting things in the souvenir shops and the spa. So wait until the last day or two to buy stuff on the ship. Anyway, Tanya was my “nail technician.” She wasn’t a talker, which was awesome. I hate trying to think of things to say to someone while they are scraping my feet. It’s just awkward. The girl working next to Tanya WAS a talker. She said that the reason she was working on a cruise ship was so she could save up money for a nose job. Her nose was perfectly fine! What the hell is wrong with people?
We went up to the pool area and the sun was actually out, so we ran back to the room to put our bathing suits on. We sat out in the sun for about 20 minutes when suddenly a dark rain cloud appeared out of nowhere. Poop. We went back inside and started packing up all our crap. Then we had lunch and some drinks (The Ultimate Suntan: rum, creme de banana, blackberry brandy, orange juice and sweet & sour mix.) I fell asleep (again) in a deck chair. I may have snored again but I did NOT drool this time.
Back to the room to dress for dinner. I had Seafood Newberg and Timmy had the Beef Wellington. The waiters sang the Carnival song, which I don’t know, then Hector jumped on a table and started dancing. Other waiters joined him on tables around the room. We said bye to Wilfer and Jorge and went back to the room to finish packing. No towel animal tonight. I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t get a stingray. And Timmy really wanted a monkey. Oh well. We put our suitcases out in the hall to be picked up by the stewards and went to bed.
Sunday morning Timmy and I woke up in a bad mood. We’d been up late with the packing and filling out customs forms, plus we both had slightly sore throats. I think Dana the cruise director gave us his cold. Bastard. We were hanging out in our cabin after breakfast (because we still had about 30 minutes until we had to be in our designated departure waiting area) when Archie knocked on the door and told us we had to leave. How rude! We went to the cigar bar to wait until we could get off the ship. Whose bright idea was it to have us wait in the cigar bar? Of course, people are going to smoke in there. It’s a cigar bar. Sheesh. We finally lined up to exit the ship. An EXTREMELY impatient woman who was at least 4 people behind us in the line kept running up and looking around Timmy. After the 6th time she had bumped him, he started swearing at her just barely under his breath. I just full-on turned around and gave her a dirty look, then said loudly to myself “No one is getting out of here any faster than anyone else, you know.”
Even though it was a hassle, debarking the ship went pretty smoothly. We filed off the boat and into the terminal where our luggage was waiting. Finding all our luggage took a while. We carried it through customs and we were out! And immediately 700 cab drivers started hassling us. Luckily there was a Carnival representative standing right at the door so I was able to ask her where our bus was. And check this – the bus driver didn’t even ask for our ticket or proof of payment. He just put our luggage in the bus and told us to get on. The rest of the trip home was pretty tame. There were some annoyances with the baggage scanning people and I got really cranky while searching for the United check-in counter, but other than that it was fine. I’ve already told ya’ll about the bastard airport bus driver at Dulles. And that’s the end of our cruise story.
The puppies were very excited to see us. Tim’s mother SWEARS they didn’t “go” in the house once.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Cruise Log: Day Six
A Lazy Day at Sea
Friday morning I had the eggs benedict for breakfast. We were seated at a table with 4 people from Sheffield. I impressed the hell out of them when I told them I’d actually been there, and that I knew they’d filmed The Full Monty there (probably the more impressive of the two.) There was an annoying (American) woman at breakfast with us who kept saying stupid things like “How much are you paying for petrol?” and “What do you think of Prince Harry? I think he’s sooooo cute,” and “You get like 4 months of vacation, don’t you? DON’T YOU????” Ack.
Timmy and I immediately went to the pool after breakfast. It’s okay to have drinks at 10:30 am when you’re on vacation, right? The drink of the day was the "Goombay Smash - the name says it all!!! White and dark rums, apricot brandy, pina colada mix and pineapple juice will surely cast some spells." I thoroughly enjoyed lolling around in my chair, sunning and playing my electronic Yahtzee game. Timmy called me a weirdo cuz I had to yell “Yahtzee!” every time I rolled one. He had a poker game that he was playing.
We had lunch at the buffet (Greek food!) and then went back to the room for a shower. We bought a few things in the souvenir shop (a Christmas ornament and a fridge magnet in the shape of the Carnival Victory) then we went back up to the top deck and sat in chairs in the shade. I fell asleep and was apparently snoring. I was certainly drooling a bit. I’m so disgusting. We got more drinks, then ice cream, then pizza, then French fries, then sandwiches. Then we had to take a nap.
Friday night was the second formal night so we got all dressed up again. Timmy had the prime rib for dinner and I had the shrimp. The waiters formed an enormous conga line through the restaurant during dessert. After dinner we put on our bathing suits and got in the hot tub for a while.
Then we went back to the room to change again for the GRAND BUFFET MIDNIGHT VIEWING. The chefs had made all these sculptures out of food. They had a one-hour viewing and picture taking period, then all the fatties on the cruise could eat the art. We were so full after eating all day long that we just went to bed.
We had a little trouble figuring out our towel animal. Is it a seal?
Friday morning I had the eggs benedict for breakfast. We were seated at a table with 4 people from Sheffield. I impressed the hell out of them when I told them I’d actually been there, and that I knew they’d filmed The Full Monty there (probably the more impressive of the two.) There was an annoying (American) woman at breakfast with us who kept saying stupid things like “How much are you paying for petrol?” and “What do you think of Prince Harry? I think he’s sooooo cute,” and “You get like 4 months of vacation, don’t you? DON’T YOU????” Ack.
Timmy and I immediately went to the pool after breakfast. It’s okay to have drinks at 10:30 am when you’re on vacation, right? The drink of the day was the "Goombay Smash - the name says it all!!! White and dark rums, apricot brandy, pina colada mix and pineapple juice will surely cast some spells." I thoroughly enjoyed lolling around in my chair, sunning and playing my electronic Yahtzee game. Timmy called me a weirdo cuz I had to yell “Yahtzee!” every time I rolled one. He had a poker game that he was playing.
We had lunch at the buffet (Greek food!) and then went back to the room for a shower. We bought a few things in the souvenir shop (a Christmas ornament and a fridge magnet in the shape of the Carnival Victory) then we went back up to the top deck and sat in chairs in the shade. I fell asleep and was apparently snoring. I was certainly drooling a bit. I’m so disgusting. We got more drinks, then ice cream, then pizza, then French fries, then sandwiches. Then we had to take a nap.
Friday night was the second formal night so we got all dressed up again. Timmy had the prime rib for dinner and I had the shrimp. The waiters formed an enormous conga line through the restaurant during dessert. After dinner we put on our bathing suits and got in the hot tub for a while.
Then we went back to the room to change again for the GRAND BUFFET MIDNIGHT VIEWING. The chefs had made all these sculptures out of food. They had a one-hour viewing and picture taking period, then all the fatties on the cruise could eat the art. We were so full after eating all day long that we just went to bed.
We had a little trouble figuring out our towel animal. Is it a seal?
Cruise Log: Day Five
St. Maarten: The Friendly Island
On Thursday morning we woke up in St. Maarten. We had breakfast on the ship then went shopping. Hector gave us a map of Philipsburg as we got off the ship (“Welcome to Las Vegas! Call me!”) The best way to get to downtown Phillipsburg is by water taxi. It costs $3 one way, or for $5 you can get an all-day pass. As soon as we got off the boat people started hounding us. “Come to our store! Visit this beach! Guided island tours!” I pushed through them but noticed that Timmy had fallen behind. He was actually talking to some woman who was handing out fliers. I turned around to get him just in time to hear her start on her time-share sales pitch. “Just come to this hotel and you’ll get a nice lunch and we’ll pay for your cab fare back and oh look you just won a free prize and all you have to do is listen to the presentation blah blah blah.” I said, no thanks we don’t have time. She just kept on and finally I said we’re not interested. Well she gave me a pouty look and then went to harass someone else who had just gotten off the boat. Timmy said he was just trying to be polite. Here’s a tip: you don’t have to be polite to them. The most polite thing you can do is just keep walking so you don’t waste their or your time. If you’re really that worried about it you can throw a “Thank you, no, I’m not interested” after you as you plow through them.
So downtown Philipsburg was very nice. It has two main streets – Front Street and Back Street. You can’t make this stuff up. We went by That Yoda Guy’s shop (the guy who designed Yoda for Star Wars owns an art gallery.) Timmy bought a real Cuban cigar from a liquor store/cigar shop/luggage store. We browsed in the Last Mango in Paradise – Jimmy Buffet themed store. Then we went to the one store I’d really wanted to check out – the Guavaberry Emporium. The sales lady was very helpful, giving us samples of liqueur and rum at 9:30 am! I bought a bottle of each, plus some sauces. And the best part was – the store arranged to drop it off at our ship for us! For free!!!
Timmy and I wandered back down through the downtown area and down to the beach. We followed the sidewalk along the shore past some restaurants (one of them was named The Black Pearl!) and other little shops. I thought about buying a monkey made from a coconut, but changed my mind when I noticed the sticker on the bottom that said, “Made in Mexico.” They were funny looking anyway. We realized that the sidewalk we were following appeared to make its way back to our ship so we just followed it til we got back to the port area. Then we were all hot and sweaty so we got guavaberry coladas and sat in the shade for a few minutes.
We went back to the ship and showered. The buffet’s theme for lunch was Japanese so we ate a bunch of sushi. Then we went to the ship’s lounge to meet our excursion group for the afternoon. Of course there was one woman who had signed up for the SNORKELING excursion who revealed just before we left that she COULDN’T SWIM. Why, people? Why?
We rode a bus to Pinel Island, which is an uninhabited island where we would be snorkeling. Our tour guide was named Sharon and she was pretty darn funny. We learned that the main product of St. Maarten used to be salt but now it is tourism. Half of the island is Dutch and the other half is French, so to make a call to St. Thomas it is a local call but to call your buddy on the other side of St. Maarten it is an international call. We drove past Orient Beach, which is the nude beach on the French side of the island. Sharon told us that we really didn’t want to see the kinds of people that like to be nude on the beach.
We rode a water taxi over to Pinel Island. Sharon told us that Pinel Island is where they filmed part of Speed 2: Cruise Control. As I’ve never seen the movie, I can’t comment. Tony, our snorkel instructor, gave us our flippers and such and into the water we went! The sea was rougher than normal so there weren’t many fishes around but Tony had some dog food with him that attracted some. Timmy and I saw a jellyfish! We swam away. I’ve seen what happens to Spongebob when he touches a jellyfish. Tony swam down to the bottom and pulled up a spider-like crab that was kind of neat looking.
When we had first gotten there they told us that we’d have to get out of the water by 3:30 in order to get back to the ship by 4:30. So Timmy was pretty pissed when they made him get out at 3:00. And even more pissed when we had to wait 20 minutes for the water taxi to pick us up. And that is exactly why I wouldn’t recommend booking shore excursions through the cruise line. They are expensive and you end up spending a lot of time waiting for other people so you get less time doing whatever it is you are meant to be doing – like snorkeling. And even though Pinel Island, for example, is an uninhabited island, it IS a public beach, anyone can take a water taxi there, AND they even have a restaurant there. There, rant over.
Timmy and I got two Carib Beers ($1.50 each, like Corona but much less harsh, very tasty) and rode the bus back to the port. Sharon pointed out St. Barts in the distance and the island where they filmed Jurassic Park 2 and the original King Kong. We went back to the ship and had drinks as we watched the ship leave the harbor. The drink of the day was "The Riviera Delight: vodka, rum, melon liquer, amaretto and pineapple juice."
As we were standing there, I overheard a woman near me say she was a travel agent whose job was evaluating different cruises. Now I will share her wisdom, which I shamelessly eavesdropped on:
She said the best Alaskan cruise is on Princess, the best Mediterranean cruise is on Costa, and the best Caribbean cruise is Carnival. She said a lot of her clients who’ve gone on Norwegian cruise lines wouldn’t recommend them. So there you have it. Don’t blame me if she turns out to be wrong though.
For dinner we had escargot as an appetizer. It wasn’t bad as long as you don’t think about it. About halfway through chewing one of the little buggers I started thinking about it and grossed myself out, so Timmy finished them. We also had lobster bisque with hardly any lobster in it. For the main course I had penne with shrimp and scallops and Timmy had some kind of fish. For dessert I had chocolate soufflé with rum sauce and Timmy had the Kahlua cheesecake. YUMMY.
During dessert the waiters were dancing to some techno song. Suddenly one of them jumped onto the serving table and started grinding. Then more of them did the same! It was kerrazy! After dinner I went to bed (bunny towel animal) but Timmy stayed up for a while to smoke one of his cigars and hit the casino. He lost $10 then went to bed, too.
On Thursday morning we woke up in St. Maarten. We had breakfast on the ship then went shopping. Hector gave us a map of Philipsburg as we got off the ship (“Welcome to Las Vegas! Call me!”) The best way to get to downtown Phillipsburg is by water taxi. It costs $3 one way, or for $5 you can get an all-day pass. As soon as we got off the boat people started hounding us. “Come to our store! Visit this beach! Guided island tours!” I pushed through them but noticed that Timmy had fallen behind. He was actually talking to some woman who was handing out fliers. I turned around to get him just in time to hear her start on her time-share sales pitch. “Just come to this hotel and you’ll get a nice lunch and we’ll pay for your cab fare back and oh look you just won a free prize and all you have to do is listen to the presentation blah blah blah.” I said, no thanks we don’t have time. She just kept on and finally I said we’re not interested. Well she gave me a pouty look and then went to harass someone else who had just gotten off the boat. Timmy said he was just trying to be polite. Here’s a tip: you don’t have to be polite to them. The most polite thing you can do is just keep walking so you don’t waste their or your time. If you’re really that worried about it you can throw a “Thank you, no, I’m not interested” after you as you plow through them.
So downtown Philipsburg was very nice. It has two main streets – Front Street and Back Street. You can’t make this stuff up. We went by That Yoda Guy’s shop (the guy who designed Yoda for Star Wars owns an art gallery.) Timmy bought a real Cuban cigar from a liquor store/cigar shop/luggage store. We browsed in the Last Mango in Paradise – Jimmy Buffet themed store. Then we went to the one store I’d really wanted to check out – the Guavaberry Emporium. The sales lady was very helpful, giving us samples of liqueur and rum at 9:30 am! I bought a bottle of each, plus some sauces. And the best part was – the store arranged to drop it off at our ship for us! For free!!!
Timmy and I wandered back down through the downtown area and down to the beach. We followed the sidewalk along the shore past some restaurants (one of them was named The Black Pearl!) and other little shops. I thought about buying a monkey made from a coconut, but changed my mind when I noticed the sticker on the bottom that said, “Made in Mexico.” They were funny looking anyway. We realized that the sidewalk we were following appeared to make its way back to our ship so we just followed it til we got back to the port area. Then we were all hot and sweaty so we got guavaberry coladas and sat in the shade for a few minutes.
We went back to the ship and showered. The buffet’s theme for lunch was Japanese so we ate a bunch of sushi. Then we went to the ship’s lounge to meet our excursion group for the afternoon. Of course there was one woman who had signed up for the SNORKELING excursion who revealed just before we left that she COULDN’T SWIM. Why, people? Why?
We rode a bus to Pinel Island, which is an uninhabited island where we would be snorkeling. Our tour guide was named Sharon and she was pretty darn funny. We learned that the main product of St. Maarten used to be salt but now it is tourism. Half of the island is Dutch and the other half is French, so to make a call to St. Thomas it is a local call but to call your buddy on the other side of St. Maarten it is an international call. We drove past Orient Beach, which is the nude beach on the French side of the island. Sharon told us that we really didn’t want to see the kinds of people that like to be nude on the beach.
We rode a water taxi over to Pinel Island. Sharon told us that Pinel Island is where they filmed part of Speed 2: Cruise Control. As I’ve never seen the movie, I can’t comment. Tony, our snorkel instructor, gave us our flippers and such and into the water we went! The sea was rougher than normal so there weren’t many fishes around but Tony had some dog food with him that attracted some. Timmy and I saw a jellyfish! We swam away. I’ve seen what happens to Spongebob when he touches a jellyfish. Tony swam down to the bottom and pulled up a spider-like crab that was kind of neat looking.
When we had first gotten there they told us that we’d have to get out of the water by 3:30 in order to get back to the ship by 4:30. So Timmy was pretty pissed when they made him get out at 3:00. And even more pissed when we had to wait 20 minutes for the water taxi to pick us up. And that is exactly why I wouldn’t recommend booking shore excursions through the cruise line. They are expensive and you end up spending a lot of time waiting for other people so you get less time doing whatever it is you are meant to be doing – like snorkeling. And even though Pinel Island, for example, is an uninhabited island, it IS a public beach, anyone can take a water taxi there, AND they even have a restaurant there. There, rant over.
Timmy and I got two Carib Beers ($1.50 each, like Corona but much less harsh, very tasty) and rode the bus back to the port. Sharon pointed out St. Barts in the distance and the island where they filmed Jurassic Park 2 and the original King Kong. We went back to the ship and had drinks as we watched the ship leave the harbor. The drink of the day was "The Riviera Delight: vodka, rum, melon liquer, amaretto and pineapple juice."
As we were standing there, I overheard a woman near me say she was a travel agent whose job was evaluating different cruises. Now I will share her wisdom, which I shamelessly eavesdropped on:
She said the best Alaskan cruise is on Princess, the best Mediterranean cruise is on Costa, and the best Caribbean cruise is Carnival. She said a lot of her clients who’ve gone on Norwegian cruise lines wouldn’t recommend them. So there you have it. Don’t blame me if she turns out to be wrong though.
For dinner we had escargot as an appetizer. It wasn’t bad as long as you don’t think about it. About halfway through chewing one of the little buggers I started thinking about it and grossed myself out, so Timmy finished them. We also had lobster bisque with hardly any lobster in it. For the main course I had penne with shrimp and scallops and Timmy had some kind of fish. For dessert I had chocolate soufflé with rum sauce and Timmy had the Kahlua cheesecake. YUMMY.
During dessert the waiters were dancing to some techno song. Suddenly one of them jumped onto the serving table and started grinding. Then more of them did the same! It was kerrazy! After dinner I went to bed (bunny towel animal) but Timmy stayed up for a while to smoke one of his cigars and hit the casino. He lost $10 then went to bed, too.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Cruise Log: Day Four
Welcome to St. Thomas, USVI
Today's Drink Special - The Yellow Bird... "Let your fantasies take flight with this heavenly stir of Rum, Galliano, Creme De Banana and assorted juices."
When we woke up on Wednesday we were in St. Thomas. Our kayaking/hiking excursion had been cancelled because of all the heavy rain the last few days, so Timmy and I decided to just go to a beach and then go shopping. But first we went to breakfast in the dining room. Oh boy. There was this guy at the table we were seated at who was a complete idiot. He was one of those, “Oh yeah, well my story is better than yours,” types of people. Someone said they’d always wanted to go to New Zealand, then I’m Better Than You Guy says HE’S been to New Zealand, and it was SOOO much better than Australia, because the ENTIRE COUNTRY OF AUSTRALIA is nothing but Outback and desert – just like on tv! I said under my breath, “No it isn’t, you idiot,” but I didn’t bother to engage in conversation with him. Moron. Kayles, I thought you’d enjoy that story...
Timmy and I caught a taxi at the pier and asked the driver to take us to Sapphire Beach. Two reasons we picked Sapphire Beach: 1. Frommer’s said it was good and not as crowded as Magens Bay and 2. Timmy’s brother The Postman has a time-share there and said it was good. There was a family in the taxi with us that included the parents, three kids under the age of 10, an infant, and a nanny. I can’t even imagine what that vacation must be like. But I digress.
We got to the beach right around 9 am. It was practically deserted. Except for about 10 huge iguanas that were wandering around. Ahhhh.
The beach was beautiful. It turned out to be a wonderful sunny day. Timmy splashed around in the water for most of the morning (he saw a sea turtle!) while I mostly sunbathed. We decided to go back to the ship around noon for a shower and some lunch. And just in time, too. As soon as we got back to the ship it started raining again. The buffet theme today was “Caribbean.” I tried fried plantains. They were yummy.
After lunch we went shopping in Charlotte Amalie. We bought a buttload of cheap alcohol at one of the shops right at the port, dropped it off at the ship, went back out and took a taxi downtown. Then we went to Del Sol – a store that sells t-shirts, nail polish, Frisbees, etc. all that change color in sunlight.
After that we went to Captain’s Corner. It’s a souvenir shop where you can buy “legal” Cuban cigars. We decided since it was only about a mile back to the ship that we would walk back. Good thing we did, there was a major traffic jam on account of one car overheating and blocking one lane of what appeared to be the major road around the island, which was only two lanes.
Just as we got back to the ship, what do you know it started raining again! Well, we watched from inside as the captain made an impressive 90 degree turn from the pier.
At dinner I had the best tomato soup I think I’ve ever had, oh yeah and tiramisu for dessert. Timmy had a squid appetizer. The waiters danced to that annoying “One hop this time, Two hops this time, Everybody clap your hands,” song. I ate way too much and felt sick. We went back to the room and the towel animal was a pig. How appropriate.
Today's Drink Special - The Yellow Bird... "Let your fantasies take flight with this heavenly stir of Rum, Galliano, Creme De Banana and assorted juices."
When we woke up on Wednesday we were in St. Thomas. Our kayaking/hiking excursion had been cancelled because of all the heavy rain the last few days, so Timmy and I decided to just go to a beach and then go shopping. But first we went to breakfast in the dining room. Oh boy. There was this guy at the table we were seated at who was a complete idiot. He was one of those, “Oh yeah, well my story is better than yours,” types of people. Someone said they’d always wanted to go to New Zealand, then I’m Better Than You Guy says HE’S been to New Zealand, and it was SOOO much better than Australia, because the ENTIRE COUNTRY OF AUSTRALIA is nothing but Outback and desert – just like on tv! I said under my breath, “No it isn’t, you idiot,” but I didn’t bother to engage in conversation with him. Moron. Kayles, I thought you’d enjoy that story...
Timmy and I caught a taxi at the pier and asked the driver to take us to Sapphire Beach. Two reasons we picked Sapphire Beach: 1. Frommer’s said it was good and not as crowded as Magens Bay and 2. Timmy’s brother The Postman has a time-share there and said it was good. There was a family in the taxi with us that included the parents, three kids under the age of 10, an infant, and a nanny. I can’t even imagine what that vacation must be like. But I digress.
We got to the beach right around 9 am. It was practically deserted. Except for about 10 huge iguanas that were wandering around. Ahhhh.
The beach was beautiful. It turned out to be a wonderful sunny day. Timmy splashed around in the water for most of the morning (he saw a sea turtle!) while I mostly sunbathed. We decided to go back to the ship around noon for a shower and some lunch. And just in time, too. As soon as we got back to the ship it started raining again. The buffet theme today was “Caribbean.” I tried fried plantains. They were yummy.
After lunch we went shopping in Charlotte Amalie. We bought a buttload of cheap alcohol at one of the shops right at the port, dropped it off at the ship, went back out and took a taxi downtown. Then we went to Del Sol – a store that sells t-shirts, nail polish, Frisbees, etc. all that change color in sunlight.
After that we went to Captain’s Corner. It’s a souvenir shop where you can buy “legal” Cuban cigars. We decided since it was only about a mile back to the ship that we would walk back. Good thing we did, there was a major traffic jam on account of one car overheating and blocking one lane of what appeared to be the major road around the island, which was only two lanes.
Just as we got back to the ship, what do you know it started raining again! Well, we watched from inside as the captain made an impressive 90 degree turn from the pier.
At dinner I had the best tomato soup I think I’ve ever had, oh yeah and tiramisu for dessert. Timmy had a squid appetizer. The waiters danced to that annoying “One hop this time, Two hops this time, Everybody clap your hands,” song. I ate way too much and felt sick. We went back to the room and the towel animal was a pig. How appropriate.
Cruise Log: Day Three
Rain Rain Go Away
Tuesday morning it rained… again. We got in the hot tub for a while (the pools were closed… AGAIN). Apparently there was a hot tub incident while I was gone to the bathroom. Timmy was sitting in the hot tub when a group of “youngsters” jumped in and started roughhousing. The Hot Tub Policewoman immediately came over and told them to get out because the hot tub is for adults only. One of them said, “But I’m FOURTEEN!” in a silly British accent. A note to my silly British friends: I heard this boy talking a few days later and he really did have a ridiculous accent. Sounded a bit like David. Anyway.
I got to meet Funship Freddie, or as I kept calling him, Freddie Flipper. The day's drink special was a Blue Margarita.
We arrived in San Juan a little bit early, just as the rain cleared up. As we got off the ship, Hector was there handing out maps of San Juan and saying, “Welcome to Hawaii. Aloha!” We had signed up for the Bacardi Rum Factory tour. Now, before we signed up for ANY excursions I had done some research (thanks to my Frommer’s guide to the Caribbean Ports of Call – a book I highly recommend to anyone planning a cruise). Frommer’s said that the Bacardi tour is something you should see in San Juan – but the tours booked through the cruise lines are much more expensive than just going yourself. However, our ship didn’t get to San Juan until 4 o’clock and the Bacardi factory closes to the public at 4:30. So the only way we’d be able to see it was through the cruise line tour. What the hell, we signed up for it.
The first thing they did was herd us all onto a bus just outside the pier. Then we drove literally AROUND THE BLOCK to where the tour boat was parked – JUST DOWN THE STREET FROM THE PIER!!! It couldn’t have been more than two blocks.
So after our whirlwind tour of downtown San Juan (HA!) we got on the little party boat for our “short ride across the harbor.” There was a guy making a big deal about how much rum he was pouring into the rum punch – “compliments of Bacardi!” That bottle must have been 75% water. We couldn’t even taste any rum in the rum punch. We rode the ferry across the harbor and then got on the little bus that took us to the Bacardi factory. Our bus driver was named Olga. I know, strange name for a Puerto Rican I thought. She was great. She kept saying, “Bueno,” “Listen,” and “Check this.” As in, “bueno, check this – we have all the benefits of the President, but we don’t vote for the President,” and “Listen, check this –two of Puerto Rico’s major exports is the Tylenol and the Viagra.” And one time she even said “Ay carumba” when another driver cut her off. Hee hee!
We got to the Bacardi factory just as it was getting dark. Now, when you take the Bacardi factory tour you don’t actually go through the Bacardi factory. Oh no. You go through a museum that is on the factory grounds. And the tour is “interactive” which means you don’t get a tour guide that tells you how the rum is made – you get a little tape player that looks like a cordless phone. The exhibits around the museum have numbered plaques, and you type in the number you want to hear about. Frankly, it was lame. They do have little “smelling stations” where you can compare how different grades and flavors of rum smell. And there was a brief demonstration where a bartender-type person explained how to make a rum and coke (duh) and a mojito.
After that, a quick ride around the Bacardi grounds to the company store! Timmy bought a bottle of special limited production rum you can only get at that factory. Then we were treated to 2 free Bacardi drinks. Timmy and I had 2 mojitos each. I’d had a mojito once before at a Cuban club in DC, but it must have been some kind of fruity-flavored mojito because I remember it had been almost too sweet to drink. But these were good.
Olga picked us up and took us on a nighttime “tour” of San Juan which included the freeway and a lot of American-chain stores and restaurants. Like Walgreens, Burger King, Toys R Us, Subway, and Chili’s. She also showed us the Capitol building and the statue that appears to be giving the capitol the finger (but he’s really just pointing at it.)
We decided to skip dinner at Senor Frog’s and just went back to the ship. We had dinner at the “Grand Buffet” since it was too late to go the dining room. Back to the room and we found another towel animal – an elephant!!!!
Tuesday morning it rained… again. We got in the hot tub for a while (the pools were closed… AGAIN). Apparently there was a hot tub incident while I was gone to the bathroom. Timmy was sitting in the hot tub when a group of “youngsters” jumped in and started roughhousing. The Hot Tub Policewoman immediately came over and told them to get out because the hot tub is for adults only. One of them said, “But I’m FOURTEEN!” in a silly British accent. A note to my silly British friends: I heard this boy talking a few days later and he really did have a ridiculous accent. Sounded a bit like David. Anyway.
I got to meet Funship Freddie, or as I kept calling him, Freddie Flipper. The day's drink special was a Blue Margarita.
We arrived in San Juan a little bit early, just as the rain cleared up. As we got off the ship, Hector was there handing out maps of San Juan and saying, “Welcome to Hawaii. Aloha!” We had signed up for the Bacardi Rum Factory tour. Now, before we signed up for ANY excursions I had done some research (thanks to my Frommer’s guide to the Caribbean Ports of Call – a book I highly recommend to anyone planning a cruise). Frommer’s said that the Bacardi tour is something you should see in San Juan – but the tours booked through the cruise lines are much more expensive than just going yourself. However, our ship didn’t get to San Juan until 4 o’clock and the Bacardi factory closes to the public at 4:30. So the only way we’d be able to see it was through the cruise line tour. What the hell, we signed up for it.
The first thing they did was herd us all onto a bus just outside the pier. Then we drove literally AROUND THE BLOCK to where the tour boat was parked – JUST DOWN THE STREET FROM THE PIER!!! It couldn’t have been more than two blocks.
So after our whirlwind tour of downtown San Juan (HA!) we got on the little party boat for our “short ride across the harbor.” There was a guy making a big deal about how much rum he was pouring into the rum punch – “compliments of Bacardi!” That bottle must have been 75% water. We couldn’t even taste any rum in the rum punch. We rode the ferry across the harbor and then got on the little bus that took us to the Bacardi factory. Our bus driver was named Olga. I know, strange name for a Puerto Rican I thought. She was great. She kept saying, “Bueno,” “Listen,” and “Check this.” As in, “bueno, check this – we have all the benefits of the President, but we don’t vote for the President,” and “Listen, check this –two of Puerto Rico’s major exports is the Tylenol and the Viagra.” And one time she even said “Ay carumba” when another driver cut her off. Hee hee!
We got to the Bacardi factory just as it was getting dark. Now, when you take the Bacardi factory tour you don’t actually go through the Bacardi factory. Oh no. You go through a museum that is on the factory grounds. And the tour is “interactive” which means you don’t get a tour guide that tells you how the rum is made – you get a little tape player that looks like a cordless phone. The exhibits around the museum have numbered plaques, and you type in the number you want to hear about. Frankly, it was lame. They do have little “smelling stations” where you can compare how different grades and flavors of rum smell. And there was a brief demonstration where a bartender-type person explained how to make a rum and coke (duh) and a mojito.
After that, a quick ride around the Bacardi grounds to the company store! Timmy bought a bottle of special limited production rum you can only get at that factory. Then we were treated to 2 free Bacardi drinks. Timmy and I had 2 mojitos each. I’d had a mojito once before at a Cuban club in DC, but it must have been some kind of fruity-flavored mojito because I remember it had been almost too sweet to drink. But these were good.
Olga picked us up and took us on a nighttime “tour” of San Juan which included the freeway and a lot of American-chain stores and restaurants. Like Walgreens, Burger King, Toys R Us, Subway, and Chili’s. She also showed us the Capitol building and the statue that appears to be giving the capitol the finger (but he’s really just pointing at it.)
We decided to skip dinner at Senor Frog’s and just went back to the ship. We had dinner at the “Grand Buffet” since it was too late to go the dining room. Back to the room and we found another towel animal – an elephant!!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Cruise Log: Day Two
A Fun Day At Sea?
Breakfast in the restaurant was open seating, meaning they just put you with some random people as you come in. Timmy thought it was very amusing that our head waiter was named Somwang. Our other waiter, whose name we didn’t catch, was pretty funny. The ship was really rocking because of the rough waters. Well, as Funny Waiter Guy was pouring the coffee he mumbled to himself, “Oh, Captain been drinking again.” Ha! Then some of us were looking out the window at the Royal Caribbean cruise ship that was off in the distance, and he goes “What you looking at – submarine?” The funniest thing was this story he tried to tell. He said, “One night this guy come up to me and say ‘You seen my wife?’ and I say ‘Who your wife? Is she blonde?’” And then he just started howling with laughter.
Anyway, after breakfast we wandered around the ship. The waves were so rough that all the pools were closed. And it was still raining a little. So we couldn’t do anything outside. We attended the free casino gaming lesson and learned how to play craps. That was interesting. Then we went to the Shore Excursion lecture given by our cruise director Dana (a guy.)
After that we went back to the casino to play in the slot tournament. We both lost. Oh well.
It stopped raining for a bit so we went out on the deck to hang out. Just in time for the hairy chest competition. Timmy tried to get in on it, but didn’t make it to the stage in time. I think there were 5 guys competing and none of them was especially hairy. They were idiots, however. It started raining again so we went back inside and checked out the art auction. Lame. Why would anyone buy art on a cruise? I just don’t get it.
The Port Shopping talk was given by Hector and the Other Guy. Hector was a flamboyant Cuban who wore tight pants and lots of sparkly jewelry. He didn’t talk much, except to tell all the girls to “Call me.” He blew a whistle a lot. We learned that not only is Hector one of the shopping experts, he’s also a latin dance champion and would be teaching dancing later in the week. Most of the shopping talk was about jewelry.
The special drink of the day was the Caribbean Breeze… “a devilish blend of rum, crème de banana, apricot brandy & tropical juices.”
Monday night was the first Formal Night so we got all dressed up. We went to the Captain’s Cocktail Party and got to shake hands with Captain Rocco and Dana. And we got free drinks! It was LOBSTER night in the restaurant. The waitstaff sang “O Solo Mio” while we had our dessert.
After dinner we went to the Vegas-style show featuring the Victory Dancers. It was okay. I nearly fell asleep during it, but that probably had something to do with all the free alcohol and mass amounts of food I’d consumed. We went back to our room and found our first towel animal – a swan! It’s a little droopy, we’re not sure how long it had been sitting there waiting for us.
Breakfast in the restaurant was open seating, meaning they just put you with some random people as you come in. Timmy thought it was very amusing that our head waiter was named Somwang. Our other waiter, whose name we didn’t catch, was pretty funny. The ship was really rocking because of the rough waters. Well, as Funny Waiter Guy was pouring the coffee he mumbled to himself, “Oh, Captain been drinking again.” Ha! Then some of us were looking out the window at the Royal Caribbean cruise ship that was off in the distance, and he goes “What you looking at – submarine?” The funniest thing was this story he tried to tell. He said, “One night this guy come up to me and say ‘You seen my wife?’ and I say ‘Who your wife? Is she blonde?’” And then he just started howling with laughter.
Anyway, after breakfast we wandered around the ship. The waves were so rough that all the pools were closed. And it was still raining a little. So we couldn’t do anything outside. We attended the free casino gaming lesson and learned how to play craps. That was interesting. Then we went to the Shore Excursion lecture given by our cruise director Dana (a guy.)
After that we went back to the casino to play in the slot tournament. We both lost. Oh well.
It stopped raining for a bit so we went out on the deck to hang out. Just in time for the hairy chest competition. Timmy tried to get in on it, but didn’t make it to the stage in time. I think there were 5 guys competing and none of them was especially hairy. They were idiots, however. It started raining again so we went back inside and checked out the art auction. Lame. Why would anyone buy art on a cruise? I just don’t get it.
The Port Shopping talk was given by Hector and the Other Guy. Hector was a flamboyant Cuban who wore tight pants and lots of sparkly jewelry. He didn’t talk much, except to tell all the girls to “Call me.” He blew a whistle a lot. We learned that not only is Hector one of the shopping experts, he’s also a latin dance champion and would be teaching dancing later in the week. Most of the shopping talk was about jewelry.
The special drink of the day was the Caribbean Breeze… “a devilish blend of rum, crème de banana, apricot brandy & tropical juices.”
Monday night was the first Formal Night so we got all dressed up. We went to the Captain’s Cocktail Party and got to shake hands with Captain Rocco and Dana. And we got free drinks! It was LOBSTER night in the restaurant. The waitstaff sang “O Solo Mio” while we had our dessert.
After dinner we went to the Vegas-style show featuring the Victory Dancers. It was okay. I nearly fell asleep during it, but that probably had something to do with all the free alcohol and mass amounts of food I’d consumed. We went back to our room and found our first towel animal – a swan! It’s a little droopy, we’re not sure how long it had been sitting there waiting for us.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Cruise Log: Day One
Departure from Miami
Our uneventful flight landed in Miami around lunch-time on Sunday. We caught the Carnival bus from the airport to the port - $12 per person - each way!!! Just as we got to the port it started to downpour. There were people running in between the cabs and buses like crazy fools! And forklifts darting in between everyone. Once we got inside the terminal, check in was pretty simple. They shuffled us from one line to the next for what seemed like forever, took our picture and then finally we were on the ship!
First we went to our room (known on the ship as our "cabin"). The room was a little bigger than I had expected. We were on the 6th floor, in the back of the ship. One of our bags was already there so we unpacked. And we met our cabin steward, Archibold. Nice guy. Then it was time for the Mandatory Safety Drill. That didn't take very long at all then we were free to go up on the top floor ("deck") to watch the ship leave Miami.
The sun came out for a few minutes while we were out on the deck. It was real windy.
Bye Suckers!!!! Several cars honked their horns at us as we were leaving. I don’t know if that’s the cool thing to do if you live in Miami, or if they were tourists being stupid. I had fun waving to the people standing on the shore. It started raining again as soon as we got out of the port and into the open sea.
So we went inside for a tropical fruity drink. The drink special for Sunday was called the Fun Ship Special (how original.) Vodka, rum, apricot brandy, amaretto & a variety of sun-ripened fruit juices. Yummy. We also got some pizza from the 24 hour pizzeria (we hadn’t had lunch yet). Timmy got one with anchovies by mistake – and we both discovered it wasn’t bad. Kind of salty.
Me and Timmy at dinner in the Pacific Dining Room (as opposed to the Atlantic Dining Room). We were seated at a booth for 4, but our tablemates never showed up the entire week. So we had the table to ourselves! Our head waiter was Wilfer from Colombia and his assistant was Jorge from Peru. Jorge was in charge of the bread and beverages. Wilfer would tell us every night "the best thing on the menu tonight is..." After dinner we tried to find the Welcome Show, but the decks were so confusing and it seemed like you had to go through the casino to get anywhere. Finally we gave up and went to bed.
Our uneventful flight landed in Miami around lunch-time on Sunday. We caught the Carnival bus from the airport to the port - $12 per person - each way!!! Just as we got to the port it started to downpour. There were people running in between the cabs and buses like crazy fools! And forklifts darting in between everyone. Once we got inside the terminal, check in was pretty simple. They shuffled us from one line to the next for what seemed like forever, took our picture and then finally we were on the ship!
First we went to our room (known on the ship as our "cabin"). The room was a little bigger than I had expected. We were on the 6th floor, in the back of the ship. One of our bags was already there so we unpacked. And we met our cabin steward, Archibold. Nice guy. Then it was time for the Mandatory Safety Drill. That didn't take very long at all then we were free to go up on the top floor ("deck") to watch the ship leave Miami.
The sun came out for a few minutes while we were out on the deck. It was real windy.
Bye Suckers!!!! Several cars honked their horns at us as we were leaving. I don’t know if that’s the cool thing to do if you live in Miami, or if they were tourists being stupid. I had fun waving to the people standing on the shore. It started raining again as soon as we got out of the port and into the open sea.
So we went inside for a tropical fruity drink. The drink special for Sunday was called the Fun Ship Special (how original.) Vodka, rum, apricot brandy, amaretto & a variety of sun-ripened fruit juices. Yummy. We also got some pizza from the 24 hour pizzeria (we hadn’t had lunch yet). Timmy got one with anchovies by mistake – and we both discovered it wasn’t bad. Kind of salty.
Me and Timmy at dinner in the Pacific Dining Room (as opposed to the Atlantic Dining Room). We were seated at a booth for 4, but our tablemates never showed up the entire week. So we had the table to ourselves! Our head waiter was Wilfer from Colombia and his assistant was Jorge from Peru. Jorge was in charge of the bread and beverages. Wilfer would tell us every night "the best thing on the menu tonight is..." After dinner we tried to find the Welcome Show, but the decks were so confusing and it seemed like you had to go through the casino to get anywhere. Finally we gave up and went to bed.
We're Back
I didn't catch his name, as I was kicking the bus and shouting obscenities after him while he drove off, but I'd like to thank the driver of Bus 304 on Sunday, October 9, between 4 and 5 pm at Dulles Airport. Thank you for pulling up to the passenger pickup location directly in front of where we were standing, opening the bus doors for 30 seconds, waiting until I got right up to the door, and then closing the doors in my face and driving off. We saw you driving around the parking lot with absolutely no passengers a few minutes later. Thanks again. Oh, and by the way, F you, too.
Love, Jen
Love, Jen
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Cruise Preparations: Packing
Oh my god, we've got so much stuff. But don't worry, I made a detailed packing list. Which Timmy hasn't even looked at. He is just throwing shirts into a suitcase. That is so like him. Me, I like to have a plan.
Pickles and Lexi will be staying at Timmy's parents' house for the week. I think they'll like it there. There's lots of room for them to chase rabbits and such. The kitties will stay here. Timmy's mom is going to check on them a few times to make sure they are okay.
I guess that's it. Gotta get back to packing. See you in a week!
Pickles and Lexi will be staying at Timmy's parents' house for the week. I think they'll like it there. There's lots of room for them to chase rabbits and such. The kitties will stay here. Timmy's mom is going to check on them a few times to make sure they are okay.
I guess that's it. Gotta get back to packing. See you in a week!
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