Finally saw Napoleon Dynamite. This movie is not for everyone. It doesn't have much of a plot. Just a high school geek and his loser friends and family. Not much happens. But it is hysterical. The dance scene was the BEST. We watched the movie last night, and this morning I asked Timmy "What are you gonna do today?" and he was all "Whatever I feel like I wanna do - God!" And later I said "I think I'll get some more coffee," and Timmy said, "Go get some then," and I said, "Maybe I will - God!"
Um, maybe you had to be there. It was cool.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
On a Bender with Bestest Friend/CoWorker
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Tuesday afternoon I drove to State College, PA for the Pennsylvania Recycling Convention. Bestest Friend/Coworker showed up about 20 minutes after I arrived. Here are the highlights:
Tuesday
We checked in and put our booth together. Amazing how easy it was when there were actually 2 people working together – instead of just me by myself.
Watched part of Jersey Girl. Not at all what I expected from a Kevin Smith movie. Ben Affleck is not as bad an actor as people say.
Bestest Friend/Coworker and I went to the hotel bar for a pre-dinner drink. They had Yuengling on tap. Awesome. We both had a couple and bitched about work for a while. Then we went off our diets and got nachos. NACHOS.
Wednesday
BFCW and I got breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Discussed waxing and fake tanning.
We went to the conference to work our booth. The organizers of the event placed our booth directly across from one of our competitors. We sat there and gave him dirty looks all morning and badmouthed his product to anyone that mentioned it.
BFCW ran into some people who work at a company she interned at. Seem like fun guys.
While I was totally making stuff up and lying about our product, BFCW contradicted me in front of the sucker I was talking to. I hate her.
A skinny, very tan, extremely stupid journalism student interviewed us for the school paper. She was wearing a tiny tank top and with her belly showing. After talking to me and BFCW for about 15 minutes she asked our names, which we both gave. She wrote down BFCW’s name, then turned to BFCW and said “and what was HER name?” and pointed at me. I hate her. And her fake tan.
BFCW said Loosey Goosey. Hee!
BFCW tried to tell me the lyrics to the new Missy Elliot song, which I said are the same as the song from The Muppets Take Manhattan. Which we then sang. Because we knew all the words. Sad, I know.
Free beer before dinner.
Dinner was pretty good for conference food.
Hospitality suite in the hotel for FREE BEER. We started talking to a little leprechaun, a lobbyist, and 2 college kids. The college kids left early (amazing with all the free beer around.) The leprechaun divided his time between us and another group. The lobbyist pontificated at us for hours. The more he drank, the bigger the lies he told.
Whoppers told by lobbyist –
He owns a swinging penthouse bachelor pad in Georgetown.
A “friend” (whose name he wouldn’t say because we’d all know who it was) called him up last week and told him to be at a certain restaurant (which he also wouldn’t name) because Brad and Angelina were dining there.
He is good friends with a certain Nascar driver ("Matty, yeah he's a good kid.")
He’s leading a team of investors that will be introducing a new hangover product to the market in 6-8 months.
Last month he dated a Victoria’s Secret model but broke it off because she wasn’t interested in politics.
Whatever.
A very loud woman with a deep smoker's voice sat down next to BFCW and they start waxing poetic about a mutual acquaintance named Irm. "IRM!!!!"
BFCW gave an impromptu speech at 2am about the melting properties of various plastics.
3 am Everyone got kicked out of hospitality suite and went to bed. Lobbyist invited us to drink in his room, but we declined.
Thursday
Drank entire 2 liter bottle of water before breakfast. BFCW got many weird looks by combining ice cubes and the hot water for tea to make ice water.
Checked my email and find that A. had sent 15 emails regarding accounting problems that are all her own fault and half of which I’ve already fixed. I hate her.
Spent most of lunch hour bitching about her before deciding that my new attitude regarding her is "Whatever."
Conference traffic was so slow during the afternoon that BFCW started downloading music to her iPod while I played Bookworm for 2 hours. I got 200,000 points before my library burned down!
Free Beer before dinner.
BBQ dinner that was pretty darn good. Very amusing tablemates.
Tiny man hid in recycling bin to scare unsuspecting conference attendees. Oh those wacky recyclers!
Hospitality suite was reopened to get rid of leftover beer. Our group mocked me when I pulled a paint can opener (free at Lowe's!) from my purse to use to open beer bottles. They stopped laughing when it worked beautifully. They started laughing again 3 hours later when we all realized the bottles were twist-offs.
BFCW volunteered her room as the community bathroom. Moved her stuff to my room for safekeeping.
A VERY Annoyingly Forward Guy started asking me personal questions because he was trying to "be social." Examples - "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Where did you go to college?" "How much is your mortgage?" I hate him. Tried to ditch him all night but was unsuccessful.
The Boss called BFCW’s cell phone at 11:30, probably hoping to leave a message to avoid talking to her. She answered and did a pretty good job of sounding not-totally drunk. He asked what bars we’d been to (he is a Penn State graduate.) She lied to him and said we went out to a couple of bars on campus but just got back to the hotel.
Thursday night’s bullshit artist claimed to have gone to college in the Hamptons. Said he worked in an exclusive club there as a busboy. Told a bunch of hooey about famous rich people he saw (Paris Hilton, for example) and how much money he would make. Honestly, if he really made that much money, he should have dropped out of college and stayed there.
BFCW asked a Penn State graduate which bars we should say we went to, in case The Boss asks. She called her office phone and left herself a message so she won’t forget.
BFCW and I retired from drinking at 1 am. She left her room to the drinkers and slept in the extra bed in my room. We watched American Wedding for a few minutes before going to sleep.
Friday
Woke up to cell phone message- received alert (cuckoo noise). Timmy wanted me to call him. He left his time sheet at home and wanted to know what time I’d be back. Not til 3. He decided to just go back home and get them so he could get paid. BFCW went back to her room to pack and have a shower.
We checked out of the hotel and drove to the Penn State campus. We parked and walked around a little bit. Bought a pink Penn State baby blanket for CoWorker Whose Wife Just Had A Baby Girl (he’s also a Penn State graudate). We also bought ourselves Penn State tshirts.
Went to sandwich shop/internet café for lunch. I had the best lunch! It had avocado in it. Who knew I liked avocado? Not me!
Listened to inane college students scream about potato chips and who knows what else.
CWWWJHABG called to ask something about work. I told him we went to a bunch of bars the night before but was convincingly vague about them all.
Followed BFCW down highway to Interstate 70, the exit for which she missed because she was talking on her cell phone. She called 5 minutes later going “Where’d you go? Where am I?” Ha!
I got back to the office at 3:30 - just in time to be trained by Yet Another CoWorker Who Is Quitting. That took until 5:30. I never even made it to my own desk. I just decided to go home and worry about work on Monday.
So that’s it! Until the next recycling conference at the end of August in Minneapolis! Bestest Friend/CoWorker and the Infamous A. will both be there with me. Should be great!
Tuesday afternoon I drove to State College, PA for the Pennsylvania Recycling Convention. Bestest Friend/Coworker showed up about 20 minutes after I arrived. Here are the highlights:
Tuesday
We checked in and put our booth together. Amazing how easy it was when there were actually 2 people working together – instead of just me by myself.
Watched part of Jersey Girl. Not at all what I expected from a Kevin Smith movie. Ben Affleck is not as bad an actor as people say.
Bestest Friend/Coworker and I went to the hotel bar for a pre-dinner drink. They had Yuengling on tap. Awesome. We both had a couple and bitched about work for a while. Then we went off our diets and got nachos. NACHOS.
Wednesday
BFCW and I got breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Discussed waxing and fake tanning.
We went to the conference to work our booth. The organizers of the event placed our booth directly across from one of our competitors. We sat there and gave him dirty looks all morning and badmouthed his product to anyone that mentioned it.
BFCW ran into some people who work at a company she interned at. Seem like fun guys.
While I was totally making stuff up and lying about our product, BFCW contradicted me in front of the sucker I was talking to. I hate her.
A skinny, very tan, extremely stupid journalism student interviewed us for the school paper. She was wearing a tiny tank top and with her belly showing. After talking to me and BFCW for about 15 minutes she asked our names, which we both gave. She wrote down BFCW’s name, then turned to BFCW and said “and what was HER name?” and pointed at me. I hate her. And her fake tan.
BFCW said Loosey Goosey. Hee!
BFCW tried to tell me the lyrics to the new Missy Elliot song, which I said are the same as the song from The Muppets Take Manhattan. Which we then sang. Because we knew all the words. Sad, I know.
Free beer before dinner.
Dinner was pretty good for conference food.
Hospitality suite in the hotel for FREE BEER. We started talking to a little leprechaun, a lobbyist, and 2 college kids. The college kids left early (amazing with all the free beer around.) The leprechaun divided his time between us and another group. The lobbyist pontificated at us for hours. The more he drank, the bigger the lies he told.
Whoppers told by lobbyist –
He owns a swinging penthouse bachelor pad in Georgetown.
A “friend” (whose name he wouldn’t say because we’d all know who it was) called him up last week and told him to be at a certain restaurant (which he also wouldn’t name) because Brad and Angelina were dining there.
He is good friends with a certain Nascar driver ("Matty, yeah he's a good kid.")
He’s leading a team of investors that will be introducing a new hangover product to the market in 6-8 months.
Last month he dated a Victoria’s Secret model but broke it off because she wasn’t interested in politics.
Whatever.
A very loud woman with a deep smoker's voice sat down next to BFCW and they start waxing poetic about a mutual acquaintance named Irm. "IRM!!!!"
BFCW gave an impromptu speech at 2am about the melting properties of various plastics.
3 am Everyone got kicked out of hospitality suite and went to bed. Lobbyist invited us to drink in his room, but we declined.
Thursday
Drank entire 2 liter bottle of water before breakfast. BFCW got many weird looks by combining ice cubes and the hot water for tea to make ice water.
Checked my email and find that A. had sent 15 emails regarding accounting problems that are all her own fault and half of which I’ve already fixed. I hate her.
Spent most of lunch hour bitching about her before deciding that my new attitude regarding her is "Whatever."
Conference traffic was so slow during the afternoon that BFCW started downloading music to her iPod while I played Bookworm for 2 hours. I got 200,000 points before my library burned down!
Free Beer before dinner.
BBQ dinner that was pretty darn good. Very amusing tablemates.
Tiny man hid in recycling bin to scare unsuspecting conference attendees. Oh those wacky recyclers!
Hospitality suite was reopened to get rid of leftover beer. Our group mocked me when I pulled a paint can opener (free at Lowe's!) from my purse to use to open beer bottles. They stopped laughing when it worked beautifully. They started laughing again 3 hours later when we all realized the bottles were twist-offs.
BFCW volunteered her room as the community bathroom. Moved her stuff to my room for safekeeping.
A VERY Annoyingly Forward Guy started asking me personal questions because he was trying to "be social." Examples - "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Where did you go to college?" "How much is your mortgage?" I hate him. Tried to ditch him all night but was unsuccessful.
The Boss called BFCW’s cell phone at 11:30, probably hoping to leave a message to avoid talking to her. She answered and did a pretty good job of sounding not-totally drunk. He asked what bars we’d been to (he is a Penn State graduate.) She lied to him and said we went out to a couple of bars on campus but just got back to the hotel.
Thursday night’s bullshit artist claimed to have gone to college in the Hamptons. Said he worked in an exclusive club there as a busboy. Told a bunch of hooey about famous rich people he saw (Paris Hilton, for example) and how much money he would make. Honestly, if he really made that much money, he should have dropped out of college and stayed there.
BFCW asked a Penn State graduate which bars we should say we went to, in case The Boss asks. She called her office phone and left herself a message so she won’t forget.
BFCW and I retired from drinking at 1 am. She left her room to the drinkers and slept in the extra bed in my room. We watched American Wedding for a few minutes before going to sleep.
Friday
Woke up to cell phone message- received alert (cuckoo noise). Timmy wanted me to call him. He left his time sheet at home and wanted to know what time I’d be back. Not til 3. He decided to just go back home and get them so he could get paid. BFCW went back to her room to pack and have a shower.
We checked out of the hotel and drove to the Penn State campus. We parked and walked around a little bit. Bought a pink Penn State baby blanket for CoWorker Whose Wife Just Had A Baby Girl (he’s also a Penn State graudate). We also bought ourselves Penn State tshirts.
Went to sandwich shop/internet café for lunch. I had the best lunch! It had avocado in it. Who knew I liked avocado? Not me!
Listened to inane college students scream about potato chips and who knows what else.
CWWWJHABG called to ask something about work. I told him we went to a bunch of bars the night before but was convincingly vague about them all.
Followed BFCW down highway to Interstate 70, the exit for which she missed because she was talking on her cell phone. She called 5 minutes later going “Where’d you go? Where am I?” Ha!
I got back to the office at 3:30 - just in time to be trained by Yet Another CoWorker Who Is Quitting. That took until 5:30. I never even made it to my own desk. I just decided to go home and worry about work on Monday.
So that’s it! Until the next recycling conference at the end of August in Minneapolis! Bestest Friend/CoWorker and the Infamous A. will both be there with me. Should be great!
I'm Falling Behind
I've got a lot of stuff to cover that I just can't seem to get around to.
1. Review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
2. Review of Foo Fighters new CD
3. Review of War of the Worlds
4. Photos and commentary from this week's trip to Penn State
5. Pickles' 1st Birthday party (tomorrow!)
6. Preparations for cruise
7. Updates on horrible office fashion faux pas
8. Update on Annoying Neighbors
I promise I'll get to all of them eventually. It's just been really really really busy here lately.
PS. I want to give a shout out to all my fans in Kansas! Especially the mom of Bestest Friend/Coworker. Hey there!
1. Review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
2. Review of Foo Fighters new CD
3. Review of War of the Worlds
4. Photos and commentary from this week's trip to Penn State
5. Pickles' 1st Birthday party (tomorrow!)
6. Preparations for cruise
7. Updates on horrible office fashion faux pas
8. Update on Annoying Neighbors
I promise I'll get to all of them eventually. It's just been really really really busy here lately.
PS. I want to give a shout out to all my fans in Kansas! Especially the mom of Bestest Friend/Coworker. Hey there!
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Pugs Pugs and More Pugs
Today I took the girls to another Pug Party. This one was at a different dog park than the last one and I thought it was much nicer. It was larger and more importantly, there were trees! But there was no grass. Can't have everything, right? Most of the same pugs were there from the last meeting. Beaker was back! He got BIG! He's only 10 months old but at 20 pounds he was easily the biggest pug there. Lexi was the only half-breed again but this time there were other dogs at the park, too, a couple of beagles, a poodle, a black mutt and a teeny fluffy white silky dog I couldn't quite figure out. His name was Yoda but everyone just kept calling him Fluffy.
I wish there was a dog park closer to home but the nearest one, where the pug parties are being held, is 40 minutes away. Timmy said that once we get the fence put up he wouldn't mind us having pug parties in OUR backyard. I know there are lots of pugs in town - I've seen them around. And EVERY TIME I take Pickles to Petsmart someone comes up to me and says they have one at home.
PS. Next Sunday is Pickles' birthday. One year old already! Should I get her a cake?
I wish there was a dog park closer to home but the nearest one, where the pug parties are being held, is 40 minutes away. Timmy said that once we get the fence put up he wouldn't mind us having pug parties in OUR backyard. I know there are lots of pugs in town - I've seen them around. And EVERY TIME I take Pickles to Petsmart someone comes up to me and says they have one at home.
PS. Next Sunday is Pickles' birthday. One year old already! Should I get her a cake?
We're Cruising
Timmy and I booked our first cruise! The first week of October, we'll be sailing around the Caribbean on the Carnival Victory. We are both so excited! We haven't had a real vacation in 3 years. Now Timmy HAS to get his passport - mine is still good for one more year. We'll be going to San Juan, St. Thomas and St. Maarten. And we'll have 3 Fun Days at Sea. I'm going to go shopping now for stuff, can you imagine trying to find beach wear in September?
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Lexi Got Fixed!
Actually, she got fixed last week. But this week she got her stitches out. And she has improved by an amazing degree with the potty training. There were two days this week when I couldn't come home for lunch, and she held it all day both times! Hooray for Lexi! What a good girl.
Pickles is still a good girl, too.
Pickles is still a good girl, too.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Happy (Belated) Birthday To Me!
Last weekend we noticed the neighbors acting suspiciously. They were in their backyard with a couple of guys and they were walking around the property. Looked like they were pointing out the property lines. Hmmmmm. Timmy and I ran to the windows and stared at them. Are they building a fence? That would be awesome! Maybe they saw us with the fencing guy and decided to do their own fence?
Timmy was outside later when the annoying Neighbor Dad came over and started talking. They are NOT putting up a fence. They are getting some trees cut down. Oh well.
So a few days later the guys came back and cut down two big trees. They left the trees in the neighbors' backyard - apparently carrying them off wasn't part of the deal. The trees continue to lay there. Oh, Annoying Neighbor Dad came out and pushed a few limbs around, but he didn't actually move any of them.
On Friday the guys came back and started to resurface Annoying Neighbor's shed. On Saturday and Sunday, they painted the shed and entire house ORANGE WITH GREEN TRIM. It looks like a freaking pumpkin. I'll put a picture up.
Anyway, on Sunday Timmy was outside burning some of our tree limbs when Annoying Neighbor Dad came over again and told him - THEY'RE BUILDING A FENCE!!!!! I am so happy. He is my new favorite neighbor. A lovely tall privacy fence to keep his stupid kid and poopy dog and trashy wife out of our lives forever. Hooray!
Timmy was outside later when the annoying Neighbor Dad came over and started talking. They are NOT putting up a fence. They are getting some trees cut down. Oh well.
So a few days later the guys came back and cut down two big trees. They left the trees in the neighbors' backyard - apparently carrying them off wasn't part of the deal. The trees continue to lay there. Oh, Annoying Neighbor Dad came out and pushed a few limbs around, but he didn't actually move any of them.
On Friday the guys came back and started to resurface Annoying Neighbor's shed. On Saturday and Sunday, they painted the shed and entire house ORANGE WITH GREEN TRIM. It looks like a freaking pumpkin. I'll put a picture up.
Anyway, on Sunday Timmy was outside burning some of our tree limbs when Annoying Neighbor Dad came over again and told him - THEY'RE BUILDING A FENCE!!!!! I am so happy. He is my new favorite neighbor. A lovely tall privacy fence to keep his stupid kid and poopy dog and trashy wife out of our lives forever. Hooray!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Okay, I'm Done
Finished Harry Potter last night at 1 am. Then had Potter dreams all night. Funny. I'm still trying to digest the whole thing so I won't have many comments right now. It was very good - obviously, since I read the entire thing in one day. I think my only complaint is that this book had very little of the funny little wizarding world details that really make the books so cute. No new Every Flavor Beans, very few funny new hexes. The twins' joke shop had some interesting items, but I'd say overall this was a pretty serious book.
And now we all have to wait for Ms. Rowling to hurry up and write the damn 7th book!
And now we all have to wait for Ms. Rowling to hurry up and write the damn 7th book!
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Harry Potter is Here!
Don't try to talk to me for the next 24 hours or so. I'm busy. Seriously. DON'T TALK TO ME.
I See You!
Guess what? I can see who looks at my blog. I know what links you follow to get here. I know how long you stay here.
So this morning when I checked it, I was a little alarmed to see that someone had read the entire blog yesterday. I was totally paranoid for a minute. Who could it be? Turns out it was just Timmy.
Hey Timmy! I love you!!!! You're welcome any time.
So this morning when I checked it, I was a little alarmed to see that someone had read the entire blog yesterday. I was totally paranoid for a minute. Who could it be? Turns out it was just Timmy.
Hey Timmy! I love you!!!! You're welcome any time.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Bring Your Screaming Kid to Work Day
A woman actually brought her baby to work with her today and set it on the floor in her cubicle. All day. It occasionally screamed – the way babies do. Once, she even brought it around to the empty space in the floor directly across from MY desk and CHANGED A DIAPER. I find it a weeeee bit unbelievable that a company that won’t even allow it’s employees to carry a cup through the office without a lid would be okay with baby-changing in the middle of the floor. But that’s just me.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Drama at the Office
Where do I begin? With the complete ineptitude of my boss? How about rumors I'm hearing regarding some of his "shady" dealings? Or would you like to know about the constant paranoia and malaise among the people who do all the work? Or the grumblings about clueless management? No I think I'll put something much much more important out there to all of us:
The Fashion
There is a girl at the office who dresses like a... there's just no nice way to describe it... a whore. The first time I met her she was wearing bright red shoes with 3 inch stiletto heels. At a corporate job! Who dresses like that?!
Today she was wearing a tight lime green shirt with her boobs hanging halfway out, a a tight skirt, and some very odd shoes. They looked like they were made from bamboo and they had flowers glued to them. Not to mention the 3 inch heels. I really wanted a picture for the website so I asked my co-workers for suggestions on how to get one in a sneaky way. Here's the advice I got:
1. Walk by her desk with the camera, pretend to trip, then take the picture while on the floor.
2. Stand by her desk, fiddle with the camera, say something like, "what is wrong with this darn camera?" and take the picture.
3. Pretend to take a picture of the floor in front of her feet, as if testing the "broken" camera.
4. Strike up a conversation with her cubicle neighbor, then lean over casually and take a picture.
5. Tell her that I love her shoes and would like a picture so I can put it on my website.
I went with number 4. It didn't work. I couldn't use the flash, because that would tip her off that I was taking a picture. The pictures of her feet were just too dark. But I did get a picture of her inappropriate shirt.
The Fashion
There is a girl at the office who dresses like a... there's just no nice way to describe it... a whore. The first time I met her she was wearing bright red shoes with 3 inch stiletto heels. At a corporate job! Who dresses like that?!
Today she was wearing a tight lime green shirt with her boobs hanging halfway out, a a tight skirt, and some very odd shoes. They looked like they were made from bamboo and they had flowers glued to them. Not to mention the 3 inch heels. I really wanted a picture for the website so I asked my co-workers for suggestions on how to get one in a sneaky way. Here's the advice I got:
1. Walk by her desk with the camera, pretend to trip, then take the picture while on the floor.
2. Stand by her desk, fiddle with the camera, say something like, "what is wrong with this darn camera?" and take the picture.
3. Pretend to take a picture of the floor in front of her feet, as if testing the "broken" camera.
4. Strike up a conversation with her cubicle neighbor, then lean over casually and take a picture.
5. Tell her that I love her shoes and would like a picture so I can put it on my website.
I went with number 4. It didn't work. I couldn't use the flash, because that would tip her off that I was taking a picture. The pictures of her feet were just too dark. But I did get a picture of her inappropriate shirt.
A Very Merry Birthday To Me
It was a nice, low-key birthday. I got a pancake breakfast that I didn't have to make or clean up. Then I got presents (Angel: Season 5, Charmed: Season 1, Joan of Arcadia: Season 1, and a cd by Crossfade.) Then we went to the movies and saw War of the Worlds. After that we came home and had chinese food and tiramisu for dessert. A bunch of people called me, including Robert from England (bless him). He always remembers.
Friday, July 08, 2005
I DID Get a Promotion
Well, that's it. I'm back in the real office now. (Not today, I have the day off.) I started my new job on Tuesday (and my new pay!) Still not sure what I'm going to be doing other than cleaning up everything The Boss has managed to screw up in the last year. Seriously, I was there for 3 days this week and The Boss never gave me even one thing to do. Luckily I could think of things that needed to be done so I kept myself busy. But not too busy. No point in being too busy with stuff you thought up yourself, right?
The dogs were good with the new arrangement. Lexi only peed in the kitchen once. She's getting better with the whole housebreaking idea. I can't leave a puppy pad down because Pickles thinks it's fun to shred them. So that means I HAVE to come home for lunch every day to let them out and I HAVE to come straight home from work or else there will be a lake in the kitchen floor. Pickles can hold it all day but Lexi's limit is somewhere around 5 hours.
So, I've got today off - hooray! I'm going shopping for work clothes!
The dogs were good with the new arrangement. Lexi only peed in the kitchen once. She's getting better with the whole housebreaking idea. I can't leave a puppy pad down because Pickles thinks it's fun to shred them. So that means I HAVE to come home for lunch every day to let them out and I HAVE to come straight home from work or else there will be a lake in the kitchen floor. Pickles can hold it all day but Lexi's limit is somewhere around 5 hours.
So, I've got today off - hooray! I'm going shopping for work clothes!
Friday, July 01, 2005
I Got a Promotion?
I think. Still not sure. I applied for an internal position about 4 months ago. According to the job posting, the job pays more than I'm making now. But I will lose the home office (bummer!) and the company car (rats!) So if they start me out at the bare minimum the job could pay I'd just about be even.
I was never actually offered the job. One day my boss just started talking to me about when I'd make the transition into the office. I was like, "Huh? Did he offer me the job, and did I accept, and then did I forget? That does sound like me..." I played along. Sure sure, when I move into the office, right, whatever. That was about 3 months ago. Since then I've asked my boss a couple of times, "Hey, what's happening with that job? Any ideas when that will happen?" And he'd hem and haw and vaguely say he had to "check with HR" and "figure out what to do with the rest of the department." That's been going on since APRIL!
Wednesday night, 7pm. The boss calls my house from his house. I was out of town so he left a message. He said that because of "certain things that have happened" he'd like to talk to me about when I can start the new job. So I called him on Thursday and he's all, "Can you start next Tuesday?" Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a mo. What's going on now? Turns out the only other two people in the office in our department both resigned on Wednesday. So the boss will be the only one still there. And he'd have to do all the work by himself. I said, "Well, can I come in on Friday to discuss it?" He said sure.
So this morning I went into the office to find out what he expects me to do. Basically, he wants me to start Tuesday full-time and I would be his backup person. Meaning I'd do all the work and he'd sit in his office and think managerial thoughts, and when he's out of the office, I get to think managerial thoughts for him. (I'd be like Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation, except without the beard.) I was like, Okay, listen, I can't drop everything by Tuesday. I'm going to need to get my files organized, call my accounts, probably travel to some accounts to introduce the person taking over for me, and basically get my shit together. I figure it will take all of July, perhaps go into August. He said Fine, fine any other questions?
I said, "Yeah, what am I gonna get paid?"
This WHOLE time, the boss has NEVER mentioned the salary. I kept waiting for him to bring it up but he never did. And he still hasn't even offered me the job. Obviously I'm going to take it. But I'd like to know how much of a raise I'm getting.
He hemmed and hawed again and said he'd "have to check with HR" and he'd like to get my salary "up a bit" and I cut him off with "Listen, I'm losing the home office and the company car, not to mention the whole office is moving to Leesburg in a few months so I'll have the added commuting expense. Just keep that in mind when you talk to HR." I did NOT mention that I am SAVING HIS ASS because we both know how true that is. Then I said, "Speaking of the company car, how long do I get to keep that?" He said, "just keep it until someone says something. I won't mention it, we'll see how long we can keep it with you." A ha! So it's like that? That's when I made the decision to not even bring up the fact that I have a company laptop. That's mine now! MWUA HA HA HA!!!
To sum up: Starting Tuesday (somewhat) I'll be making more money (not sure how much more) doing something (????) at the corporate office (but also from home for a while). Congratulations to me?
I was never actually offered the job. One day my boss just started talking to me about when I'd make the transition into the office. I was like, "Huh? Did he offer me the job, and did I accept, and then did I forget? That does sound like me..." I played along. Sure sure, when I move into the office, right, whatever. That was about 3 months ago. Since then I've asked my boss a couple of times, "Hey, what's happening with that job? Any ideas when that will happen?" And he'd hem and haw and vaguely say he had to "check with HR" and "figure out what to do with the rest of the department." That's been going on since APRIL!
Wednesday night, 7pm. The boss calls my house from his house. I was out of town so he left a message. He said that because of "certain things that have happened" he'd like to talk to me about when I can start the new job. So I called him on Thursday and he's all, "Can you start next Tuesday?" Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a mo. What's going on now? Turns out the only other two people in the office in our department both resigned on Wednesday. So the boss will be the only one still there. And he'd have to do all the work by himself. I said, "Well, can I come in on Friday to discuss it?" He said sure.
So this morning I went into the office to find out what he expects me to do. Basically, he wants me to start Tuesday full-time and I would be his backup person. Meaning I'd do all the work and he'd sit in his office and think managerial thoughts, and when he's out of the office, I get to think managerial thoughts for him. (I'd be like Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation, except without the beard.) I was like, Okay, listen, I can't drop everything by Tuesday. I'm going to need to get my files organized, call my accounts, probably travel to some accounts to introduce the person taking over for me, and basically get my shit together. I figure it will take all of July, perhaps go into August. He said Fine, fine any other questions?
I said, "Yeah, what am I gonna get paid?"
This WHOLE time, the boss has NEVER mentioned the salary. I kept waiting for him to bring it up but he never did. And he still hasn't even offered me the job. Obviously I'm going to take it. But I'd like to know how much of a raise I'm getting.
He hemmed and hawed again and said he'd "have to check with HR" and he'd like to get my salary "up a bit" and I cut him off with "Listen, I'm losing the home office and the company car, not to mention the whole office is moving to Leesburg in a few months so I'll have the added commuting expense. Just keep that in mind when you talk to HR." I did NOT mention that I am SAVING HIS ASS because we both know how true that is. Then I said, "Speaking of the company car, how long do I get to keep that?" He said, "just keep it until someone says something. I won't mention it, we'll see how long we can keep it with you." A ha! So it's like that? That's when I made the decision to not even bring up the fact that I have a company laptop. That's mine now! MWUA HA HA HA!!!
To sum up: Starting Tuesday (somewhat) I'll be making more money (not sure how much more) doing something (????) at the corporate office (but also from home for a while). Congratulations to me?
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