Office Update: Part 3

Unprofessional Pete got FIRED!!!!! True story, again.

About 3 weeks ago, The Boss was on vacation for a week. The Boss Who Is Kind of a Goober had surgery and was out of the office for 3 days. So that left me, Whorish Shoe Girl and Fancy Hair Girl alone in the office with Unprofessional Pete. Goober asked me to “keep an eye on him” and make sure he “didn’t get out of control.” Whatever that means.

Well, the first part of the week went okay. UP strutted around like HE was The Boss. He asked me to run some reports and I told him I didn’t have time. He pouted a little but didn’t give me any problems. He told Fancy Hair Girl to do some lame stuff that was completely not part of her job and she didn’t know how to do anyway. He had a 45-minute conversation with Whorish Shoe Girl about how long it had been since he’d had sex (this was while I was out at the plant. Apparently it was REALLY loud and several people in other parts of the building could hear it and were offended.)

Remember how I said it takes Fancy Hair Girl a long time to do her work? Well, on Thursday apparently she didn’t do something fast enough for Unprofessional Pete so he yelled at her. In fact, he yelled AND cursed at her. In front of me and WSG.

On Friday afternoon I came back from lunch to find that a stack of checks I’d had sitting on my desk were all disheveled. I asked Fancy Hair Girl if anyone had been at my desk and she said Unprofessional Pete had been rifling through my desk. He went through all the checks, took them OUT OF THE ENVELOPES, and made comments about them. None of those checks were for his vendors. Well that just really pissed me off. I told him to please NOT go through the things on my desk when I’m not there and HE GOT ALL BELLIGERENT WITH ME. Then for the rest of the day he sulked and wouldn’t talk directly to me or even look at me. Which actually worked out great for me because I didn’t have to listen to his disgusting comments any more.

Monday The Boss came back from his vacation. Unprofessional Pete was still pouting and not talking to me (hooray!) I noticed that The Boss Who Is Kind of a Goober was acting a little bit cagey. Then I’m in his office and he whispers “something’s going down today with the Boss and UP… something BAAAAAD….” I’m intrigued. Around 4 o’clock, The Boss calls UP into his office. Sometime while UP was in The Boss’s office, Goober snuck out and went home. I was standing by FHG’s desk when I saw UP come storming out of The Boss’s office into his own. His face was DARK RED. We could see him moving around in his office. The Boss came out and stood in the doorway of UP’s office, watching. I whispered to FHG, “looks like he’s packing!” Sure enough, that’s what he was doing.

On the way home, Goober called me. Want to know the reason UP got fired? It was NOT sexual harassment. OR anything to do with his questionable business deals he had going on the side. Nope, it was fraud. Turns out, he didn’t technically own the house he was trying to sell in his relocation package. Basically, it was an easy way for the company to get rid of him. So I’m not going to question it. Good riddance, douche bag!