Dear Readers,

I’ve neglected you. I realize that, and I’m sorry. Let me bring you up to speed (as they say).

1. Halloween was both a huge success and a disastrous failure. The puppies looked great in their costumes. They had big fun rolling around and chasing each other. On the other hand, we had a total of 5 trick-or-treaters. Three of them were from next door. Timmy bought 4 pounds of candy. Guess who ended up having to eat it all? And he didn’t get Kit Kats! (He said they were out.)

2. Timmy fixed my muffler. Yay!!!!! Now it doesn’t rattle any more. He also fixed my watch! Double Yay!!!! Ever since daylight savings time I’ve been an hour off. Watches are tricky.

3. My fantasy football team is kicking ass! I was discussing it with a co-worker, and he made the comment, “And that’s why girls shouldn’t be allowed to have fantasy football teams.” Only because I told him I picked Roethlisberger because he has a funny name, and that I had Brett Favre because I once dreamt that he was my boyfriend. So? I also cheer for Peyton Manning because he has the best commercials. Have you seen the one where’s he’s in the grocery store and he asks the stockboy to sign a loaf of bread for his little brother? For the record, I am not a Redskins fan. I could take them or leave them. But Timmy, having lived in Virginia his whole life, is a HUGE Redskins fan.

4. Someone with a Buffy bumper sticker works in my building. I can’t figure out who it is. I’m almost to the point where I’m going to go from desk to desk and quote obscure Buffy episode dialogue to see if anyone recognizes it.

5. Went to Canada last week with the Boss Who is Kind of a Goober. We had a meeting with the Canadian HQ of an unnamed largest company in the world. We are NOT going to discuss the fact that at 2:20 I realized that our 2:30 appointment was actually at 2:00. It was all good. I totally lied and said we were stuck in traffic. Their office was a dump just like their US headquarters office looked on that CNBC special. Canada was weird. But not weird in any specific way. Just a general feeling of oddness. They use the METRIC system. And all the signs were in English AND French. Weirdos.

6. I made the mistake of playing Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom for “just a few minutes” on Friday. And I didn’t do anything else the entire weekend. But I did find 31 golden spatulas, 15 of Patrick’s lost socks, and over 12,000 shiny objects. So the weekend was not a total waste.