On Thursday morning we woke up in St. Maarten. We had breakfast on the ship then went shopping. Hector gave us a map of Philipsburg as we got off the ship (“Welcome to Las Vegas! Call me!”) The best way to get to downtown Phillipsburg is by water taxi. It costs $3 one way, or for $5 you can get an all-day pass. As soon as we got off the boat people started hounding us. “Come to our store! Visit this beach! Guided island tours!” I pushed through them but noticed that Timmy had fallen behind. He was actually talking to some woman who was handing out fliers. I turned around to get him just in time to hear her start on her time-share sales pitch. “Just come to this hotel and you’ll get a nice lunch and we’ll pay for your cab fare back and oh look you just won a free prize and all you have to do is listen to the presentation blah blah blah.” I said, no thanks we don’t have time. She just kept on and finally I said we’re not interested. Well she gave me a pouty look and then went to harass someone else who had just gotten off the boat. Timmy said he was just trying to be polite. Here’s a tip: you don’t have to be polite to them. The most polite thing you can do is just keep walking so you don’t waste their or your time. If you’re really that worried about it you can throw a “Thank you, no, I’m not interested” after you as you plow through them.
So downtown Philipsburg was very nice. It has two main streets – Front Street and Back Street. You can’t make this stuff up. We went by That Yoda Guy’s shop (the guy who designed Yoda for Star Wars owns an art gallery.) Timmy bought a real Cuban cigar from a liquor store/cigar shop/luggage store. We browsed in the Last Mango in Paradise – Jimmy Buffet themed store. Then we went to the one store I’d really wanted to check out – the Guavaberry Emporium. The sales lady was very helpful, giving us samples of liqueur and rum at 9:30 am! I bought a bottle of each, plus some sauces. And the best part was – the store arranged to drop it off at our ship for us! For free!!!
Timmy and I wandered back down through the downtown area and down to the beach. We followed the sidewalk along the shore past some restaurants (one of them was named The Black Pearl!) and other little shops. I thought about buying a monkey made from a coconut, but changed my mind when I noticed the sticker on the bottom that said, “Made in Mexico.” They were funny looking anyway. We realized that the sidewalk we were following appeared to make its way back to our ship so we just followed it til we got back to the port area. Then we were all hot and sweaty so we got guavaberry coladas and sat in the shade for a few minutes.
We went back to the ship and showered. The buffet’s theme for lunch was Japanese so we ate a bunch of sushi. Then we went to the ship’s lounge to meet our excursion group for the afternoon. Of course there was one woman who had signed up for the SNORKELING excursion who revealed just before we left that she COULDN’T SWIM. Why, people? Why?
We rode a bus to Pinel Island, which is an uninhabited island where we would be snorkeling. Our tour guide was named Sharon and she was pretty darn funny. We learned that the main product of St. Maarten used to be salt but now it is tourism. Half of the island is Dutch and the other half is French, so to make a call to St. Thomas it is a local call but to call your buddy on the other side of St. Maarten it is an international call. We drove past Orient Beach, which is the nude beach on the French side of the island. Sharon told us that we really didn’t want to see the kinds of people that like to be nude on the beach.
We rode a water taxi over to Pinel Island. Sharon told us that Pinel Island is where they filmed part of Speed 2: Cruise Control. As I’ve never seen the movie, I can’t comment. Tony, our snorkel instructor, gave us our flippers and such and into the water we went! The sea was rougher than normal so there weren’t many fishes around but Tony had some dog food with him that attracted some. Timmy and I saw a jellyfish! We swam away. I’ve seen what happens to Spongebob when he touches a jellyfish. Tony swam down to the bottom and pulled up a spider-like crab that was kind of neat looking.
When we had first gotten there they told us that we’d have to get out of the water by 3:30 in order to get back to the ship by 4:30. So Timmy was pretty pissed when they made him get out at 3:00. And even more pissed when we had to wait 20 minutes for the water taxi to pick us up. And that is exactly why I wouldn’t recommend booking shore excursions through the cruise line. They are expensive and you end up spending a lot of time waiting for other people so you get less time doing whatever it is you are meant to be doing – like snorkeling. And even though Pinel Island, for example, is an uninhabited island, it IS a public beach, anyone can take a water taxi there, AND they even have a restaurant there. There, rant over.
Timmy and I got two Carib Beers ($1.50 each, like Corona but much less harsh, very tasty) and rode the bus back to the port. Sharon pointed out St. Barts in the distance and the island where they filmed Jurassic Park 2 and the original King Kong. We went back to the ship and had drinks as we watched the ship leave the harbor. The drink of the day was "The Riviera Delight: vodka, rum, melon liquer, amaretto and pineapple juice."
As we were standing there, I overheard a woman near me say she was a travel agent whose job was evaluating different cruises. Now I will share her wisdom, which I shamelessly eavesdropped on:
She said the best Alaskan cruise is on Princess, the best Mediterranean cruise is on Costa, and the best Caribbean cruise is Carnival. She said a lot of her clients who’ve gone on Norwegian cruise lines wouldn’t recommend them. So there you have it. Don’t blame me if she turns out to be wrong though.
For dinner we had escargot as an appetizer. It wasn’t bad as long as you don’t think about it. About halfway through chewing one of the little buggers I started thinking about it and grossed myself out, so Timmy finished them. We also had lobster bisque with hardly any lobster in it. For the main course I had penne with shrimp and scallops and Timmy had some kind of fish. For dessert I had chocolate soufflé with rum sauce and Timmy had the Kahlua cheesecake. YUMMY.
During dessert the waiters were dancing to some techno song. Suddenly one of them jumped onto the serving table and started grinding. Then more of them did the same! It was kerrazy! After dinner I went to bed (bunny towel animal) but Timmy stayed up for a while to smoke one of his cigars and hit the casino. He lost $10 then went to bed, too.
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